


Blood Orange Hoodie

by Moolark



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: AFAB reader - Freeform, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Lack of Communication, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, Multi, Platonic Relationships, Polyamory, Porn With Plot, Reader is human, Reader-Insert, She/her pronouns for reader, Slow Burn, Slut Shaming, Smut, TMNT, Threats of Violence, Threesome - F/M/M, Turtlecest (TMNT), Unrequited Love, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Verbal Abuse, all characters depicted are over 18, bad relationship advise, but like no details, but like not in a weird way, but that brings drama, none of the turtles are related, probably, seriously this is fiction your relationship should not look like this, when I say slow burn Im gonna mean it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:41:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 34,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28830564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moolark/pseuds/Moolark
Summary: You've known the Turtles for years and grown close with the fiery duo of Raphael and Michelangelo. But when desires arise to become more than just friends, what will happen if you confront them? Can you choose just one? Will your feelings be returned? Lets find out!All characters are depicted as 18+
Relationships: Michelangelo (TMNT) & Reader, Michelangelo (TMNT)/Reader, Michelangelo/Raphael (TMNT), Raphael (TMNT) & Reader, Raphael (TMNT)/Michelangelo (TMNT)/Reader, Raphael (TMNT)/Reader
Comments: 22
Kudos: 54





	1. Ch1. Go For It!

**Author's Note:**

> This Chapter is mostly just setup and time with Mikey enjoy!

You had been a bit down in the dumps since the last date you went on went South. The dude was a complete and total ass hat.

Immediately after you went to Michelangelo to gossip.   
The two of you had just spent a solid hour roasting him. First he had showed up late: was rude to the server: only talked about himself: gave you back handed compliments: then he had the audacity to ask if you wanted to go back to his place. You looked him in the eye and said, "no I don't think we'll be seeing each other again" and walked out.

Which you both agreed was such a power move?! You were lying on Mikey's bed like you always do; staring up at the glowing stars on the ceiling. He had wanted to get Donatello to create a whole fiber-optic accurate depiction of the solar system to put up there, but you managed to talk him down. In the end the both of you spent a day painting little stars and planets out of glow in the dark paint.

"I don't know Mikey, maybe I should just give this whole dating thing a break." You huffed.

"What? Dudette you only just got back in the game. It's taken you, like, 6 months to get over Becca and you can't stop now. You’re on a roll!"

Rebecca. AKA: Becky The Beast... You two had a short but intense flig at the beginning of the year. She seemed so nice and the two of you seemed to really click, but catching her in bed with another girl had shown you otherwise.

"Maybe you're right Mikey."

"Maybe? Of course I'm right Angel-Cakes! When has the love guru ever been wrong?.. Don't answer that."

You let out a loud snort in response.

"Look," he said rolling over to face you, "You got it so good, ya know? I wish I could go up and ask out all the lovely ladies in New York."

You snorted. "Dating isn't as fun as it seems. People are complicated, and everyone's different. Guys can be shallow. Girls can have a phone full of side hoes. Sometimes you're a perfect match, but you're just in different stages of life..."

"... Dude, do you think that I'll ever find someone?" Mikey whispered.

You sit up, looking over his stretched out form. He was laying beside you with his hand propping up his head and a foot hanging off the edge of the mattress.

"What kinda question is that? Of course you're gonna find somebody! They'll be sweet and funny and love videogames and art as much as you do! You'll be perfect for each other."

Your eyes met and you felt your heart skip a beat. A blush started creeping over your cheeks but you looked away and flopped back on the bed. This had been happening more the more time you spent time with Mikey. The two of you became best friends since you met just over three years ago. Never straying far from each other's sides for long. You, Michelangelo, and Raphael made a Trio of Trouble whenever you stepped into a room. Starting endless prank wars, Terrorizing nightlife in the big city, and driving Master Splinter up the wall with the shenanigans you guys get into.  
It's just... When you're together it feels so right.

"So, I-..."

"Tell me about her Mikey, describe your dream girl." You both start.

He let out a light chuckle before looking up to the ceiling.

"Well first of all she's gotta be thicc, but like, five C's ya know?" He lifts his hands into the air making a wavy motion and you let out a small huff, rolling your eyes. 

"Yeah, uh-let's see... Smart, pretty, a rocking set of knockers!" The two of you laugh out loud at that one.

“Seriously Mikey!” You groan and give him a light shove.

"Someone who can cook, gotta love pizza, likes music. They gotta like art in general. Someone really down to earth and easy to talk to, but also high energy who can keep up with me! You know we go non-stop!!"

You both burst into a fit of giggles once more.

"Oh and she has the cutest laugh! God I just want to listen to her laugh 24/7."  
He let out a dreamy sigh as he lost himself in whatever mental image he was conjuring up.

"Well, until we find our perfect matches I guess we're stuck with each other."   
You meant it too. There's no one you would rather spend time with.

"Pfft but you've already met yours."

"What?"

Mikey rolled his eyes before arching a brow at you and turning onto his stomach.

"C'mon, your perfect type? 'Big, Tall, built like a wall'? Ring any bells?"

You were drawing a blank. Who is he talking about?

"Dude!" He laughed at your puzzled look. "Your perfect guy? You said he's got 'Tree trunk thighs, protective, cute accent. Could,-and I quote-, 'bench press you'?"

"Mikey I don-"

Mikey let out a loud groan and facepalmed.

"Oh my God you're blind, it's Raph!"

What.

"What?!" you yell.

He thinks Raphael is your dream guy? What is he crazy?! You and Raph are besties! Work out buddies! And the three of you make up an unstoppable Force of nature, but he's not your dream guy?!  
Right?!  
I mean sure he makes the checklist for what you would think you want. While he can be a pain in the ass, he has still always been respectful and protective of you... Oh shit.

Michelangelo burst into laughter as he watches your face contort into a grimace at the thought.

"No. That's not. No. He's not even that funny. And he's so sweaty all the time and. Ugh he's just a big ol angry boy."

Mikey looked at you teasingly.

"What, you shooting him down so quickly? Raph's not the turtle for you?"

Now that you thought about it. He's cute you couldn’t deny, and like with Mikey when you're together there’s no place you’d rather be. It's just, for some reason. The thought of you together just. It didn’t make much sense.

"No Mikey," you laugh, "my dream turtle is definitely not the lumbering giant that is your brother."

"Hey!" He laughs "He's not that bad. You should give him a chance."

You look over to see Michelangelo still staring at you. His eyes have always captivated you. They're usually such a pure, light blue: piercing like the sky, or soft like a baby blanket. You can never decide. But for a moment those eyes were darker and almost sad…

"... Well?" He smirks, eyes brightening.

You grab a pillow and smack him in the face.

"This is peer pressure!"

Mikey doesn't try to stop your assault and falls back with an "oof". He laughs and throws the pillow back at you before leaning on his elbow with a more serious look.

"I mean it. You know Red is just a big softie, and I know, from a VERY reliable source, that he would say yes." His tone was almost smug.

Your face flushed at his change in tone and implication. Does Raphael like you? Is that why Mikey is pushing this so hard? Again, you'd be lying if you said he wasn't attractive, and he did meet the description of your typical dude crush. But there was still something holding you back.

"I'll tell you what. If he makes the first move, I'll go out on a date with him. But he has to come to me on his own! You can't play matchmaker more than you already have!" You scold pointing a finger at his chest.

"I would Never!" Mikey scoffed putting a hand over his chest in feigned offence, then smiled; it didn't quite seem to reach his eyes. That bothered you, but you didn't bring it up.

Letting out a sigh you fell back into the sheets and closed your eyes.

“Can we forget about relationship stuff for a bit? I’m tired of worrying about this shit.”

Feeling the weight of the mattress shift beside you and open your eyes back up. Only to see Michelangelo’s face hovering over your own.  
You both are silent for what feels like an eternity just staring into each other’s eyes. He really did have the most beautiful eyes. Your own eyes move to his mouth waiting for him to speak, but he doesn't. He just stares at you with an indiscernible look on his face. You can feel a flush start to overtake your cheeks and you open your mouth to say something. Anything!

“Wanna play some video games to take your mind off it?” He asks.

“... Yes absolutely I do.” You respond with a sigh of relief.

The both of you sit up and make your way out of Mikey’s room to the hodge podge of couches and sectionals that make up their entertainment area. As He starts up the mega console Donnie put together your mind was racing.  
What was that??! Is Mikey seriously trying to set you up with his brother?! And Why did he say all that stuff that made you feel weird?? It's not weird! You guys are friends! He was just being a friend! But then why did you get so flustered when he was above you? Would you and Raph even be a good fit? Did Raphael say something to Mikey??

“-ey earth to mothership, do you read me?” A controller waving in front of your face snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Oh! Sorry Mikey I was lost in thought for a second.” You take the controller and turn your attention towards the TV showing the Mortal Combat III title screen.

“No no, stay on planet 9 Angelcakes! It’ll be that much easier to kick your tail!” Mikey looks at you with a fire in his eyes.

“You Wish!” You retort, ”It is SO ON!”

You can worry about the red coded terrapin and all this relationship drama later. Right now it's time to kick some shell!


	2. Ch.2 Sweat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You spend some time building up a sweat with Raphael. And he has something to ask you

Every Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday you had workouts with Raphael and Michelangelo. It’s been a great way for you to get in shape over the years.  
After you started hanging out with the turtles more often you realized you essentially had New York’s best personal trainers at your fingertips. Leonardo was the first to come to mind seeing as he is the leader and all, but after watching one of his personal “training sessions” you decided waterboarding was a preferable alternative.  
Although when you asked Mikey if he would help you instead, working out quickly turned into video game marathons. Consequently Raphael, being the ever cynical and sarcastic piece of shit he is, started making fun of both of your lack of commitment to “getting yoked”. Even though Mikey was still going to all his regular training, you were having a hard time staying motivated. Leading the red turtle to joke about how you were all bark and no bite when it came to commitment.

So when you challenged Raph to actually get you fit instead of talking shit you never expected him to say yes. You also didn't know the full extent of what you were signing up for. Which included but was not limited to: a purge of your fridge, lots of weights, so many weight exercises, Running sprints in a New York winter, being woken up at 3 am when you missed a workout session, and an unexpected amount of positive reinforcement.

Now, two years later it was something you actively looked forward to. You even bought a bike to get to work on, forgoing the subway. Which has probably saved you money in the long run, but the risk of medical bills from cars looms ominously every time you put on a helmet.  
Not to mention the improvements that it’s had on your mental health too. Exercising was also probably one of the things that helped you move on from “The Beast” the most. After the breakup Raphael made sure you never missed a workout, no matter how depressed you got. He really lit a fire under your ass. Having two six foot plus mutants hype you up for deadlifts is also a pretty good confidence booster in itself.

You weren't as close to Raphael as you were to Michelangelo, but that didn't mean you weren't closer than most. You'd both seen each other at your highest and lowest points, shared victories and losses. Even when there was nothing to be said, being in the company of one another soothes both of your fiery tempers. You hold each other accountable and call out the Bullshit when you see it. Raphael was also really fun to joke and banter with. Once you got past that scarred shell, he really was a standup guy. Being best friends with him is a great feat in your eyes...

Maybe dating him wouldn’t be so different...

You turn over in your bed, in your little studio apartment. It was a Thursday, and almost time to start getting ready to head over to the Lair for a workout session. Writhing in your sheets for a moment, you muster up the strength to get up and get a change of clothes ready. Usually you just wear an old band T-shirt and some leggings, but it was a bit hot out today. Opting for a tank top instead sounded like a better plan. Its still New York though, so you decided to throw on a zip up hoodie just in case.  
Before heading out you also remember to grab an extra toothbrush and towel.  
Despite practically living with the Terrapins 4/7 days a week for a couple years, you never thought to just leave basic hygiene stuff there. Lord knows how many sets of clothes you’ve accumulated in Mikey’s room.

“Well. Time to head out.” You murmur while locking the door behind yourself.

It was only about a 5 minute walk to the subway where an abandoned service tunnel could take you right to the Lair. Granted you’d still gotten lost in the labyrinth of tunnels and needed to be rescued a countless number of times before. Eventually you had Donatello put a little GPS in your phone, not that you needed it. Just in case.

As you got closer to the Lair, the familiar scent of pizza, candles, and iron greeted you. It was a unique and sharp smell while still being strangely warm. You dont think you’ll ever figure out what is so comforting about an abandoned subway/sanitation station.  
Maybe the company?

On your way into the Lair you are passed by Leonardo and Donatello on their way out. You must be a bit earlier than you thought, as they're usually already out on patrol when you get there.

“Sorry, can’t chat!” Donnie called behind him as he rushed past.

“It’s okay!” you laugh, “Have a safe patrol!”

“When do we not?” Leo shoots back before disappearing around the bend.

You smile and shake your head feeling a presence approach behind you.

“I swear they go looking for more trouble when we do, huh Splinter?” You lament before turning to see the old rat before you.

“Indeed… I often wonder what they do when there is no crime to be fighting.”

A soft smile creeps across his wrinkled features. “I’d like to think that they meditate or train, but I was a young man once too, you know.”

“You??” You feign shock and awe “No way Master, you've always been a wise old man!”

“I know it might seem shocking, but I know a thing or two about being young and in love.” Splinter sent you a smug and knowing look.

Before you could ask why he was looking at you like that he cut you off saying, “Go now! You mustn’t be late for your training! And I must return to my meditations.”

You rolled your eyes. Master Splinter’s “meditations” was just short for his soap opera coming back from commercial break. Nonetheless he was right. You did Not want to be late for workout days because that meant 50 extra push ups, and you’re still sore from Tuesday.

You crossed the Lair, heading to the large circular alcove that housed most of the turtle’s training equipment. Next to it a large open area was lined with tatami mats dedicated for sparring. Now that you think about it, it had been a week or two since you had gotten the chance to put Raphael flat on his shell...

Wait not like that!  
You felt your face getting hotter and hotter at the thought.

“What is wrong with me...” You keened, face palming as if you could wipe the red off your face.

“Well I’m currently working ona list,” a deep baritone voice boomed behind you, making you jump.  
“If you've got something to add Squirt, you can put it right under wearing a hoodie ta workout.”

“Red you startled me!” You grump throwing a light punch to his shoulder. “And I only wore it to get here. I'm not a dumbass.”

Raphael rolls his eyes but smirks and purposely bumps into you as he walks past towards the weight rack. You let out a small grunt in response but set your bag to the side and start taking off your hoodie.

“Where’s Mikey?” you ask, shoving the jacket in your bag and looking for your water bottle.

“Dunno. But he's gonna have hell ta pay for missin leg day.” Raph mused.

“And what are you gonna do? Make him do push ups? You know he likes doing those.” you rebuttal in a snarky tone. Where is that damn water bottle?

“Yeah? And what you gotta betta ide-...” He stops abruptly.

“What’s the matter?” You turn to see what made him lose his voice. Simply to see him staring at you.

Your eyes lock with his and you can't look away. He's looking at you with such piercing intensity you feel your soul begin to tremble. What is that look on his face? Anger? Carnal rage? Hunger?...  
You don't think you’ve ever noticed before, his eyes are Gold.

Raphael cleared his throat, his eyes never leaving yours.

“So…”

“... So...” You parroted.

You finally broke his gaze looking down at the floor and then at the weight rack. Avoiding eye contact you stood and made your way to the weight rack. You could feel the pressure of his eyes burning into your back with each step.

Composing yourself, you turned around with a smile.

“Let’s get started then shall we!”

Most of the workout session went by with relatively few words exchanged between the two of you. Although it felt like the longest two hours of your life. The whole time you were working out you could feel Raphael’s eyes roving over your form.  
Admittedly he does that every time you work out, it is important to have good form!  
But this time felt different. Knowing he was staring at your body made you both self conscious and emboldened. It was honestly kind of fun watching his subtle reactions to your movements.  
Had he always looked that flush while spotting you?

It was your last set of deadlifts and Raph was spotting behind you. Once you finished the rep, you threw the weight down and turned for a high five like you normally do. And were taken aback with the sight before you.

Raphael was glowing with the light reflecting off of his sweat, and his mouth was cocked into a roguish smirk. His overall demeanor wreaked of pride and satisfaction.  
Instead of giving you a high five, he reached up and patted the top of your head.

“That's a new personal record for ya.” He smiled down at you with a smug look and strode over to grab a towel.  
“Tell you what? Ta celebrate let me take you out Sunday after our workout. We can make it a private thing, just you and me.”

Well that was unexpected. But was it really? After talking with Michelangelo you had pretty much gathered that Raphael had some feelings for you from how Mikey pushed that you should pursue him. You did promise that if he asked you out you would at least give it a try… Wait was he asking you out?

You watched as Raph picked up one of the towels he had set out earlier and started rubbing it over his neck and shoulders to collect the sweat that had accumulated there.

“Uh... Like a date?” You said turning redder by the second.

“Yeah, somethin like that Sugar… Somethin like that.” He smirked over his shoulder and you could put money on the fact that those green cheeks were flushed.

“Y-yeah uh… That sounds like fun.”

What were you getting yourself into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! If you like, Leave a Kuddos and Ill try to get the next chapter out ASAP! <3


	3. It's a bit complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You go on your date with Raphael, but things are a bit more complicated than you thought.

You checked your outfit for the 3rd time. Still just a tank top and shorts. 

Raphael was going to take you out on a "workout date". Very him, but it made sense considering it was a Sunday. 

The fact that it was a date this time though makes you uncharacteristically nervous. In fact, you hadn't felt this nervous for a date in a long time. It was just Raph. Maybe that was a good thing. Still, you felt hesitant.

You couldn’t put your thumb on it but there was something keeping you from fully entertaining the thought of being in a relationship with the big red turtle. For a moment your memory flashed back to when Mikey had first suggested his brother was your type. Mikey's dark and sullen eyes seem to haunt you. You never even thought to ask Michelangelo if he was okay with this. He did bring it up in the first place, so he must be right?

Again, you check your appearance in the mirror. You looked good. Really good actually. When was the last time you took a moment to admire yourself? You had gained some timing and definition on your arms and legs that you hadn't noticed before, but still not enough to be super noticeable if you weren’t looking for it.  
What is it that they see in you? You wonder if Mikey or Raph like girls who are a bit more toned...

A soft tap on your window drew you away from your thoughts.  
Outside, Raph sat perched on your fire escape. A duffle bag filled with what you assume is regular workout essentials is strapped over his shoulder.

You made eye contact and he pointed up to the roof, signaling to meet him up there. Just as soon as you saw him he was gone.

Well guess it’s now or nothing...

You pause to take a deep breath, mustering up determination from deep within your soul.

“I'm a bad bitch you can't kill me” You whisper to yourself, before heading out of your apartment.

As you climb the stairwell, you start wondering what tortures await you. Sundays are usually your hardest workout day with Mondays for resting and Tuesdays dedicated to cardio. Raphael has a tendency to get creative with your Sunday workouts ever since he was inspired by CrossFit YouTube. You swear if he has you flipping tires again you’re gonna lose it.

What you see when you make it to the rooftop surprises you.

Several weights, and two kettlebells sit on the floor beside a small folding stool and a duffle bag. Adjacent to them, two yoga matts are rolled out and on one sits Raphael. Meditating? You figured this would be more Leo's thing but you decide to keep an open mind.

"Yoga doesn't really seem to be your speed Red." You jest, moving to sit on the second mat in front of him.

He lets out one of his signature raspy chuckles. Your stomach does a small flip.

"Ya right, but I thought we could challenge our regular workout routine." He smiles mischievously down at you and you know you're going to regret whatever he has planned.  
Still... You're up for a challenge.

"What did you have in mind?" You arch a brow at how vague he was being.

“Well,” He slouches and brings one of his hands up to rub at the back of his neck. “I know Tuesdays are our day ta do cardio shit but… I wanted ta do somethin a bit less challangin.”

“What, you don't think I can handle our usual stuff?”

“Not at all.” Raph smiles at you. “I just want ya ta have some energy left afterwards.”

He winked at you and you rolled your eyes in response. If he thinks that you can't handle whatever he throws at you, he’s dead wrong.

One intense yoga session and round of weights later you were starting to regret a LOT. Like when you had waffles for lunch, or when you told Raph you could take more weight while planking, or when you said it would be a good idea to stretch as a cool down.

"Don't go an give up on me now girlie, I still have another workout planned." Raph winked as he walked towards one of the benches built into the rooftop patio. Where a pile of towels and water bottles he brought in the duffle were set out.

"Hah!" You pant, lying on the roof immobile. "You wish! I can keep going for a while yet!" 

Which is a complete and total lie and you both knew it. You sit up and catch a bottle Raph throws at you before it hits your face. Hey, at least your reflexes have improved.  
The lukewarm water tastes like heaven sliding down your throat. You pour what water you haven't finished over your head, effectively making you drenched in water and sweat.  
You hear Raph bark out an offering for a towel between his laughs. Grunting in acceptance you put your hand in the air to catch it.

When nothing lands in your hand you look up to see Raph staring absently at you 

"You good Raph?"

He snaps out of whatever daze he was in and growls out the semblance of a "yeah".

He's clearly trying to say something but hesitating.

With a sigh and a grunt, you get up and walk over to the bench and sit by his crouched form. Even in a squat Raphael is above eye level to you sitting.  
’He really is a big dude’ you think before inquiring.

"What's up big guy?"

"Look... I'm sorry Toots. We just can't do this.” He groans, bringing a towel up to wipe the sweat from his brow.

"What do you mean?" You ask, confused.

You thought things were going well! Granted it just as well as the rest of the workouts you had done in the past. The two of you had been cracking jokes like you usually do. 

“I just can't do this Sugar… Not when Mikey is head over heels for ya."

Your furrow your brows in confusion and feel your face start to heat up. Michelangelo said he was okay with you and Raph going out. Hell, he was the one who suggested it to you in the first place! Why would he do that if he had liked you? Wouldn’t he have made a move before it came to this?

"Really?" Raph snorts. He wrings out his towel and tosses it over his shoulder. "You're not that dense, ya know he likes you."

That took you back a bit. Admittedly, yes you had thought that he liked you, but every time you tried to act on your feelings he never seemed to get the memo. Raph takes another big chug from his water bottle before moving to sit beside you.

"I'm sorry, I'm just confused..” You interlace your fingers together and let your shoulders drop.  
“Why did you want to go on this date then if you knew he liked me?"

After a moment Raph let out a huff and drug his hand down his face.

"Because... I do-” He paused looking over the rooftops of the surrounding buildings. “-genuinely like ya."

‘Oh... Well... That complicates things,’ you think.

"Look, I know how much Mikey cares for ya, an he just wanted to see us both happy. When he said I was ya type, an that I had a chance! I just went with it..."

Raph extended his hands in front of himself and waved them about as he talked. Him and Mikey were the same in that way: talking as much in movements and body language as with words. It has led to many silent conversations between the three of you, much to the chagrin of Leo and Splinter. Although you think that Leo can actually understand you guys.

‘I should have seen the signs before,’ you consider silently.

Raph sent a glance your way.

"Besides Toots, I've been flirting with ya all evening and ya haven't even realized."

A flush overtakes your cheeks for what feels like the thousandth time at his words. Were you really that clueless? Was all the back and forth banter between the both of them flirting? Certainly over the years you all had known each other these feelings would have come up before now. Did you ignore the signs then too? Memory after memory flooded your thoughts as you tried to look for instances where either turtle had let on that they had more than platonic feelings for you.

Your face got much hotter as you remember several moments between the two of them that would have looked far more intimate with different context.

Now you feel awful. You never wanted to string anyone on, and all this has just made you confused and overwhelmed. You never would have agreed to go on this date if you had known the truth about Michaelangelo's feelings.

"I-I think I wanna go home." You rubbed your arm self-consciously. This is not how you thought this evening would go, and right now you had a lot of information to process.

Raph let out a soft huff and extended his hand to help you up.

"I'm sorry." You whispered.

"Don’t be. This is a huge Fuckin mess as it is. We'll figure it out." Raph settled his hand on your shoulder for a second before starting to gather the equipment he brought together.

You sit for a second or two longer and proceed to help him pick up his things.

The whole time you wrack your brain for the next step in this mess. You don't think that you’ve ever even assessed your feelings for either one of the Mutants. Not that the issue was either one of them being sentient mutant turtles as well as vigilante crime fighters.

“Hey-,” Raph’s gruff voice snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Like I said Sugar, we’ll figure it out yeah?” 

The dismal smile on his face was reassuring in a way. He’s known just as much as you are realizing right now: That this whole thing was going to end up in a clusterfuck no matter what happened. Yet he was still so reassuring after essentially rejecting his own romantic feelings for you.

A smile creeps onto your own face at his optimistic view. Waving a small goodbye to him as you head back into your apartment building.

You drag your hand down your face as you close the apartment door behind you. This was quite the calamity you had ended up in.

Thoughts from before rush back into your mind. What do you do? Do you make yourself choose between the two men who you have come so close with?  
Whether or not you ignore these emotions or confront them, you're not the only one with their feelings on the line. If both Raphael and Michelangelo want to be in a relationship with you then you need to think long and hard about what you do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOF get ready for more Angst to come! Things are about to get complicated and we're going to be opening a whole can of worms in the next chapter. Thanks for reading! If you like, Leave a Kuddos and I'll try to get the next chapter out ASAP! <3


	4. O'Neil's Cure-all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You digest events and make a decision with help from a little girl time.

Waking up and getting through the start of your day is usually something you can get away with on autopilot. Waiting for your consciousness to finally catch up with your lethargic frame; Which it usually does just after you put caffeine in the human flesh mech you call a body.

That crashing of reality however has led you to the exact place you are in now: Sitting at your kitchen table with a bowl of cereal and a spoon half way on its journey to your mouth, and hyper aware of your place in a complex love triangle with your two best friends.

Well, never let it be said that your life was in any way boring.

Letting out a sigh, you slouch in your chair and stare longingly into your bowl of milk and sugar. The answer to your problems must be somewhere inside your head. And yet every time you pick at your brain for the next move to make you’re helpless. 

You might not know what to do next, but you know someone who will.

“Well,” you mutter to yourself. ”Time for reinforcement.” You pull out your phone and shoot off a text to one of the few people you know who has more relationship experience than anyone else you know. 

April O'Neil..

Placing your phone face down on the table you try to finish your breakfast before it gets soggy. Only moments later your phone buzzes. You pick it up to confirm her response.

AprilShowers: omg i knew this was gonna happen! BRB ETA 10 @ u

Well that settles it then. You were doing the big girl thing and asking for help.  
Trying to dissuade the anxiety creeping up your spine you shudder and strike a small power pose.

‘I have nothing to worry about.’ You tell yourself. All you need to do is figure out how to communicate your feelings effectively and preserve the bond you have with the turtles and everything will go back to normal!

Right?..

Your mind flashes back to the date you had with Raphael last night. If you really had to define it you’d probably put it in the top 10 worst ways to end a relationship before it ever even started.

Catching yourself before you go too far down the rabbit hole and end up in crisis mode. You make your way over to the sink and rinse out your dishes. After placing them in the rack to dry you glance at the clock

April should be arriving any minute. You've taken up pacing up and down your kitchen in the meantime.

You never would have gone out with Raphael if you knew the feelings you had for Michelangelo had been reciprocated. You don't think that Mikey would have ever recommended you go out with his brother if he had known that you liked him back. Raph openly admitted that he had romantic feelings for you last night, but at the same time he also rejected those feelings because he knows how Mikey feels about you. Which was a kind hearted and noble gesture on the surface, but you still care about him and his feelings and you want to see him happy as well.  
One of your hands goes to wipe the remaining sleep out of your eyes.

You know that you don't want your relationship with either of the boys to turn into some sick twisted Twilight romance. That’s pretty easy to avoid though considering you’re dealing with mutants and not vampires. The love triangle aspect however would be a lot harder to avoid.

“OKAY SPILL!” The door to your apartment swings open violently and you jump from the sudden intrusion.

April immediately spots you pacing in your kitchenette. Inviting herself in as usual, she rushed towards you, closing the door with an unceremonious kick.

“Come on,” she seized your upper arm and all but lugged you onto your couch, “I wanna know all the details! Start from the beginning, and don't stop!”

“Hi April! How are you? Good? Why don't you come in and make yourself comfortable- oh I'm doing okay.” You bemoan under your breath and get settled across the couch from her.

“Oh shut it, you know this excuses formality.” April waved her hand through the air dismissively. “I knew you were gonna end up with one of the boys, but things just got interesting so, like i said, Spill!”

You sputter in surprise. Were you the only person who wasn’t aware of any romantic tension between you and the turtles?

After a moment you sigh and sink further into the couch. You start by recounting the past month or two spending time with both Raphael and Michelangelo. As you recount how Mikey basically insisted you go on a date with his brother you watch April pull a bottle of wine out of her purse and head to the kitchen for glasses.

“So after our wor- April it's ten o’clock in the morning.” You cut yourself off

Returning to the couch with two glasses she simply raises an eyebrow.

“Neither of us works today and I think you can make an exception to day drinking considering the circumstances.” April sends a snide look your way before pouring you a glass.  
“Besides,” she relents extending the glass towards you, “It’s your favorite brand.”

You fail to keep a soft smile from sneaking onto your face as you reach out and take the glass from her hand. April really was a good friend.

“Where was I?” You ask, taking a sip of the wine.

“You had just gotten done with a workout session where you basically eye fucked each other.” April announced as if it was a totally normal occurrence.

“Right.” You flush before launching back into the events of the past week, and twenty four hours subsequently. 

After what felt like an eternity of recapping and walking through your train of thoughts and emotions with few interruptions on April’s part. You were now half a bottle of wine down and had migrated to the kitchen.

April sat with her legs crossed atop the counter in front of you. Having corked up the wine after pouring the last glasses and put it in the fridge, you leaned back on the kitchen island facing your companion. She was in the process of putting her hair up in a messy bun and bore a contemplative look on her face.

April had never been shy with her emotions when it came to being around her friends. If you didn’t know otherwise you’d think that she had never even heard of a poker face. However, you've tagged along with her and Casey more than once and seen first hand how adaptable she was to any situation she found herself in. To say that she was a master at acclimating to her environment was truly an understatement.

“So what do you wanna do about it?” She inquired.

“I want to crawl into bed and pretend like we’re nothing more than friends.” You lament. “But I know that that’s not what i should do.”

“That’s for sure.” April said with a laugh. “I guess what I meant was, what’s stopping you from being in a relationship with them?”

Your grip on the wine glass tightened for a moment. That was an excellent question, and you weren’t sure if you knew the answer.

Sensing your struggle, April interjected, ”Do you even like either of them more than a friend?” She tilted her head into the question and stared expectantly.

“I think- No, I know. I know that I like Mikey.” You say without hesitation, shocking yourself.

A smile crossed her cheeks as she watched you second guess and sputter over your confession.

“Well then that settles it.” April sipped the last drop of her wine and hopped off the counter. Slapping both of her hands over your shoulders and leaning in with a serious stare.

“You said that you know you like Mikey. We all know that he is beyond smitten with your ass, even though he tried to hook you up with Raph. Who, might I remind you, gave you the green light last night to forget about anything romantic between the two of you so you can date Mikey.” She pauses for a moment and searches your face to make sure you comprehend what she said.

You nod slowly, giving her the go-ahead to continue.

“So next time you see Mr. Radicle himself you’re going to ask him out and stop pretending like you don't have feelings for each other. Got it?” April gave your shoulders a small shake.

You take a deep breath before looking her in the eye with a resolute,

“Yes Mam.”

April stuck around to actually see you follow through and send a text to the group chat you had with the boys confirming a meetup time.

You: Hey, so we’re all getting together for game night tomorrow right?

AprilShowers: Got work so I cant make it :(( but you guys have fun! ;)

RedDead: sounds good 2 me

OrangeFanta: YOO Ur Always welcome to mi Casa Angelcakes!!

IceBlue: Don and I unfortunately will not be able to make it until later if you wanted to come over at the usual time.

OrangeFanta: OOOOO So crYpTIC~~

Einstein: It’s just an extra patrol to fix some of my equipment around the city.

Orange Fanta: PartyPooper! You always gotta take the MYSTERY out of it

You: 7 it is then :))

IceBlue: I’ll make sure to remind them.

Glancing over, you see April smiling at her phone seemingly satisfied with a confirmed date.

“Welp. Now I just have to make sure I don't chicken out.” you laugh.

“You won't.” April responds with a smug smirk. “If I know anything about how these things go, you’ll confess and he’ll be all over you in a second.”

“I don't know… Maybe now isn’t the right time-”

“Oh No! You are not backing out now! It’s set in stone. Finieto. Finished. Contractually obligated.” She tittered as she gathered her things to leave.

“Thanks for all your help April. I really appreciate it.” You confide.

“Don't mention it! Seriously though, don’t. I was never here.” Her ominous tone was playful, but you understood what she meant.

This was your responsibility to deal with. There was no point in name dropping and dragging her into this mess. Giving her a hug you double check with her that she has all her things and she tells you to keep the wine with a haphazard, “you might need it.” You wave goodbye and shut the door behind her when she’s halfway down the hall.

Taking a deep breath, you exhale and try to imagine your anxiety washing off of your shoulders like water. It only worked a little, but that’s still better than nothing.

It’s only just after 3:00 but you decided that you were just going to get ready for bed and spend the next several hours perusing YouTube and maybe scrolling through a streaming service.

What you’re going to say when you get there you will leave up to future you to figure out. Right now, there’s a pile of pillows calling your name, and the realization that you are going to ask out your best friend tomorrow that needs dealing with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glad we could finally work THAT out huh. Worry not, things don't always go to plan, If they did, what fun would that be? ;)  
> Thanks for reading! If you like, Leave a Kuddos and Ill try to get the next chapter out ASAP! <3


	5. Orange is overwhelming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for a whole lot of DrAMA and ANGST! did I stay up all night to finish this? Absolutely!
> 
> **Slight TRIGGER WARNING for intrusive/negative thoughts

There’s nothing like the feeling of impending doom when you’re walking somewhere. Especially when you are making your way towards the subway.

It was 6:45 so you knew that by the time you snuck off the platform and to the Turtles Lair you would be on time. You knew every step you took towards the entrance, down the stairs, onto the platform, into the old utility closet, leading to the abandoned service tunnels that would take you to your destination. Yet, something told you to turn back. To run past your apartment all the way to Queens if you had to.

Still, you pressed on and descended into the tunnels. The platform ahead was oddly busy for this time of day, meaning too many people who might see you slip into that abandoned closet. Not that you think anyone would care or question your actions, it was New York after all. It didn’t matter too much anyways, you’d just wait until the train came and left and the crowd cleared up. Better safe than sorry, right?

Picking a seat on the far side of the terminal near the closet entrance, you sat and pulled out your phone and earbuds. Might as well people watch if you were going to be stuck there for the next five minutes.

Your eyes hovered lazily as you glanced over the crowd of people congregated on the platform. An old Asian couple, several business men, a group of highschoolers who look like they had all gone out to dinner and were headed home, but a woman with a bleached undercut and sunglasses on the far side of the platform caught your eye. She seemed familiar but you couldn't quite- The woman then lifted her sunglasses and time slowed.

A shaky breath escaped you as you realized.

It was Rebecca. Your ex who you hadn’t seen in over 6 months. Your ex who you caught cheating on you with at least one girl, but who knows how many others. Your ex who is starting to look around as if she’d been stared at.

Oh shit you're staring! Your neck snaps down to stare at the black screen of your phone. Hoping she doesn’t notice your presence, you shrink in your seat a bit more and prepare to bolt if she comes your way.

What was she even doing on this side of town? She didn’t work in the area, at least she didn’t 6 months ago. Noor did she have any friends or hookups that you knew of. Your mind started reeling about what you would do if she came over. Had she noticed you? Did she ever even think of you still?

The speakers overhead droned to life announcing the arrival of the shuttle. You breathed a sigh of relief watching the rickety old train cars file into the station one after another. Rebecca was just going to get on the train and leave, and then you could go on your merry way to spend time with people who actually enjoyed your company.

You couldn’t help a smug smile from gracing your face as you watched The Beast pack into the subway car with the rest of the passengers.

“Good riddance.” You mutter as the doors close and the train slowly pulls out of the terminal.

Finally there were less people around, so you decided to duck into the utility closet and be on your way before any more showed up.

As you made your way down the tunnels you couldn’t help but try to shake off the remaining negative energy. When you were on your way here that foreboding feeling was probably some 6th sense warning you of a snake nearby.

You chuckled to yourself at the thought, and a sense of calm washed over you. While you realize you might not have control over other people, you did have control over yourself and those you spent time with. And you would be damned if you didn’t want to spend time with your favorite person in the world right now.

With new found energy and a smile on your face you speed up your walking pace as you draw nearer to the lair.

Mikey and you were going to confess your feelings for each other in a matter of minutes! Then you could spend game nights like you always do with the brothers and things would go back to normal. Well, as normal as having a new boyfriend could be!

Were you going about this a bit juvenile? Maybe. But after seeing Rebecca on that subway platform, realizing that you were so much happier without them and about to start a new chapter, who wouldn’t be?

The smell of pizza grease greeted you for the millionth time as you turned the final corner, revealing the entrance to the lair. Rusted metal and cardiac arrest never seemed more of a welcome to your senses.

“Honey, I’m Home!” You called into the humble abode.

Walking into the dwelling you didn’t see any sign of life. Which is saying something.

“Mikey? Red? Splinter?” You squawked out into the empty hall in confusion.

After a moment of silence you concluded that they all must be out. Pulling out your phone you sent a text to the group chat you have with Mikey and Raph as you remember that Donatello and Leo are out.

You: You guys sure there’s only one ninja lair in the sewers? Bc i just walked into a ghost town

RedDead: very funny toots. Mikey should be there

RedDead: im taking splinter to meet up with Mr Yamamura for their mahjong shit

Ah, that explains why this place is so empty. You switch your phone off and stuff it in your pocket before making your way to Michelangelo’s room. If you had to guess he probably took a nap the second he got a moment to himself.

“Yo, Mike’n’Ike you in there?” You shout ahead of you as you near his room.

Without thinking twice you turn the knob and let yourself into the orange clad turtle’s room.

“Guess it’s just you and me until Raph gets back, huh?” Your eyes don’t scan the bedroom as you walk through the doorway. Instead they go straight to your shoes. Removing them and storing them away in Mike’s room was ritual whenever you came over to hang out.

“How long do you think Splinter and Yamamura are going to go at it this week?” You inquire jokingly as you slip your left shoe off your foot. “I remember when your dad bet a whole month worth of coupons to their restaurant and won. Who knew mahjong skills would get us so much takeout!” You bark out with a laugh.

Finally looking up with a smile, you see Michelangelo sitting on the edge of his bed with a strange look on his face. His sheet was draped over one leg and he lacked the typical ninja belts and straps, including his mask. Did he just wake up? Awwe, so sweet.

“What time is it?” Mikey rasps out, bringing a hand up to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

“It’s like 7:15 sleepyhead!”

“Oh what?” He responds confused. Pulling out his cell phone he turns it on and lets out a small ‘huh’ while you put your shoes and phone at his bedside.

“So, did you have any plans for tonight?” You ask, settling on the bed beside the mask-less terrapin.

You see him stiffen a bit at the question before relaxing and bringing his arms up to stretch.

“Nah,” He yawned and got up to retrieve his mask for the cluttered vanity in the corner of his room. “Just kinda figured we’d play some PvP games like we always do Angelcakes.”

He turned to you with that signature smirk of his and your eyes met.

“Why? You have something in mind?”

You felt yourself heat up under his gaze, but tried to play it off best you could. Jeeze. Who does he think he is acting so cocky like that? Well, who were you kidding, this was the one and only Michelangelo you’re dealing with here.

“N-nothing in particular!” You stutter out. Cursing your nerves as you're sure he would be teasing you about it later.

“Well, the same as usual then?” Mikey lilted as he padded over to you and extended a hand.  
“Would you do me the honor of accompanying me on my journey to the recreation hall my dear Lady!?” He blubbered in the fakest posh English accent one could muster.

You giggled before straightening your back and playing along.

“Why yes,” You tut, placing your arm in his and standing. ”Your company would be most amicable indeed!”

The two of you giggle and walk arm in arm out of Mikey’s room and towards the aforementioned ‘Recreation Hall’.

Upon entering the large entertainment den He stopped walking and looked down at you. Returning his gaze, you were struck once again by the depth in his baby blue irises.

Suddenly you could feel every bump and scar and scale on his skin and you held your arm intertwined with his. A shudder ran down your spine at the weight of his eyes roving over your face, but you didn't break his stare.

‘This was it,’ you thought. ‘Now, I tell him how I feel. How I’ve felt for almost a year.’   
You waited for him to say something. Anything.

Instead he cleared his throat and broke your view. Michelangelo let go of your arm and made his way around the various couches towards their TV and consoles.

You stayed planted in your spot. Willing your feet to move, but they were weighted like the cement you were standing on. He was supposed to say something. Ask you something. He was just walking around as if you hadn’t had a moment seconds before.

You watched his lips move as if he was asking you something, but you couldn’t hear him over your thoughts.

Well if he wasn’t going to make the first move, you would.

"I like you."

Mikey let out a strained laugh. "I like you too! Now where'd you put the remote?"

Confusion washed over you.

"No, Mikey," you grabbed his arm making him turn.

When had you walked around the couches? "I mean, I-" 

Mikey snaps your name interrupting you. You search his face for understanding. Seeking reciprocation, reassurance that he felt the same in those eyes that had shaken you to your sore only a minute ago.

Instead, he looks hurt and insulted. Like you had just stabbed him in the back with your words.

He jerks his arm out of your grasp with a grimace.

"Just drop it." He croaked.

Mikey walks around you to the couch adjacent and flops down with his back against the armrest.

"... B-but I thought-"

"You thought wrong okay?! I said Drop It!" He barked, malice dripping from his words.

You shrink back into yourself, feeling exposed. You’d never seen him so angry. Even when the both of you had fought or he rage quit at a game, he’s never seemed so irate.

"I don't-"

"You don't what?!" He snaps with his back to you, “Know, Feel, Care?! I said to Drop It OK?!"

You don't know what to do. This isn’t how he was supposed to react. What do you do? You back away from the couch and bump into a pillar as you turn.

"I'll-I'll just..."

Mikey had never yelled at you like that before. He promised he would never yell at you in anger.

He stays silent as you run out of the room.

You're shaking violently by the time you make it out to the main room of the lair. Anxiety gips you and you are overcome with the need to flee. In a haze you quickly make your way to Mikey's room and retrieve your shoes and phone before making your way into the tunnels.

‘He hates you.’ Your mind starts reeling to comprehend what just happened. ‘He's sick and tired of you leading him on. Confessing your feelings now? After you went on a date with his brother? Of course he hates you.’ The cynicism in your mind screams that you're too late. How could he reject you so coldly. Why did he get so angry at your admission of love for him? He just said he likes you too in response. He didn't mean it like that, and you know it. 

He thought you were joking.

Tripping and stumbling through the tunnels you push yourself to go as fast as your feet could carry you. You should've just stayed home. Home... Which way is home again?

Aaaaaaand now you're lost. Great. Just perfect!

Slowing to a stop you try to recognize your surroundings, but you can't tell the tunnel system that you’re in. Plopping down against the tunnel wall you bring your knees to your chest and start sobbing. Your face is gross, you're all dirty, you're heartbroken, and now you're lost in the tunnels! And you can't even call your best friend to come get you, because he probably hates you!

Why do you always get yourself Into these messes? You like-no. You're in love with Mikey. 

He's your best friend but after that outburst... Ex-best friend? Ugh that thought makes your stomach churn. No this has all just been a misunderstanding. Why was he so mad at you? Because you tried to confess you like him after you went out on a date with his brother? You would probably be mad too. But you thought he had only pushed the idea of you and Rap going out because he knew his brother liked you.

But you thought he liked you back. Everyone else thought he liked you back.

You thought a lot of things…

Maybe, you just wanted him to like you the way you liked him. Raph probably doesn't really like you either. 

Maybe you're better off alone.

... You need to go home. No one knows the sewers better than the boys, but you really didn't want to see any of them right now. Texting Mikey or Raph is a no go, and you really aren't in the mood for a lecture so Leo's off the table as well.

Guess it's Donnie. You pull out your phone and send him a text.

You: I'm lost.

Yup, that pretty much sums up a lot of things. You wait patiently for a response. You wipe your face and try to take deep breaths. If he's going to meet you, then you don't wanna look like more of a mess than you have to.

Your phone vibrates.

Einstein: I thought you were staying over for game night?

Einstein: Did you get lost on the way to the lair again? Leo and I can head out early to find you and get you there.

You: Nah, change of plans. something came up. I'll send a pin, can you just send me directions to get home??

Einstein: NP, give me a moment.

Einstein: Found you! Keep walking forward and take the second tunnel on the left. '

Thank God. You follow his instructions, grateful that he's not actually meeting you. When you get to a familiar stretch of tunnel you breathe a sigh of relief and speed walk out of the underground as fast as you can. 

Arriving at your complex you send a thank you text to Donnie, letting him know you arrived home safe and head inside. 

Although you knew he technically didn't need a text to see you got home because of the tracker, you know it still made him feel better. You grimace at the thought of having to explain your abrupt departure to the other turtles.

With what felt like your thousandth sigh of the day you facepalmed and mentally added, explaining getting rejected by your best friend to the task list for tomorrow..

Once your shoes are off, you head straight to bed and fall heavy on the blankets. 

You Just want to go to sleep and forget today ever happened.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, where'd Spitfire go?" Raphael asked as he lumbered into the entertainment room with his motorcycle helmet still under one arm.

Master Splinter had decided to spend the whole evening at the Yamamura household, so Raph could head home early and join you and Mikey.

He had been texting April while waiting on Splinter and she spilled the beans on your plans for the evening. As much as it hurt the red ninja to see you with his brother instead of him, he was excited for you and mikey to make each other happy.

The whole drive back to the lair he was thinking of how he could tease the two of you about being love birds. How he was gonna play it off like he had first dibs but decided you weren’t good enough. Which he knew you would know was a lie, but he also smiled at the thought of you playing it off like you didn’t.

So when he entered the den and saw Mikey alone and looking upset, he was understandably confused.

"She left." Mikey huffed. His arms were crossed and he was sitting on one of the couches with his back to the doorway.

'Wh-what do you mean she left? I thought we were gonna hang!" Raph stammered.

Mikey whipped his head around and glared at his older brother.

"Yeah well she decided she had better things to do than hang out in the sewer with a bunch of mutant freaks!" He exploded. His words each a punch to rub salt in his own emotional wounds.

"Mikey what the fuck-" Raph started.

"What?! Did you think she could actually fall for one of us! Tha-That she could-''  
Mikey choked back sobs that were welling to the surface. He was shaking as he frantically wiped his eyes and tried to mask his tears with more anger.

"Mikey what happened?" Raph pleaded softly. Reaching out to his little brother.

Stepping closer towards his brother's side attempting to sooth his outburst, and figure out what happened while he was gone.

The orange clad turtle refused to hear it. He pushed past Raphael and stormed off to his room; slamming the door behind him.

Raph stood alone in the entertainment room with more questions than answers and the realization that things were about to get a lot more complicated for their little family.

"Fuck."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOp, I did tell yall things were about to get a whole lot more interesting!  
> Thanks for reading! If you like, Leave a Kuddos and Ill try to get the next chapter out ASAP! <3


	6. RedDead Redemption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a week of no communication, you get a surprise visitor!  
> This one's a bit shorter but still very angsty I promise ;)

You had no plans of getting up and out of bed today. but life is funny that way isn't it?

You sit up with a start at the loud banging on your balcony window. You rush over to the sill, unlock the window, and open it as a reflex.

"What's going on? What's wrong? Is everyone ok? Is shredder back in the city? Why are you-"

Raph slapped a hand over your mouth to stop your twittering.

"Christ, it's just me, calm down. Everyone is fine, let me come in." He grumbled from his position crouched on your fire escape.

You stepped away from the window to allow the large turtle room to come in.

It had been almost a week since you had confessed to Mikey and your heart went up in flames. April had all but combusted herself when you broke the news to her, and you’re assuming the rest of the turtles found out one way or another from the condolences text you got from Donatello. Every time you had been invited over since you would just make up some excuse as to why you couldn’t. You just weren't ready yet you reasoned. The fact that Michelangelo had not sent you a single text or call certainly wasn’t helping either.

You had figured that it was just as hard for him being away from each other, but you wanted to have sufficient space to cool down. You don’t know if you’d be able to handle him lashing out at you again so soon.

Wringing your hands nervously as Raph stood in front of you. If awkward silences could be measured this might be a record holder.

‘He’s probably here to try and get you to come back to the lair and pretend like nothing happened’ You guess to yourself. Raphael wasn’t usually the mediator in these kinds of situations, but he had his fair share of breaking up smaller fights with his brothers.

"Look, we never should-" "I think it's better tha we-"

You both pause at each other's interjections with a wince.

Yeah this was going to be harder than you thought you bemoan internally.

Raph lets out an exasperated sigh before walking towards your living area where there’s more space to talk. Following silently behind, you pick up a blanket on your way out of the bedroom.

The couch gives a strained creak as he sits down. Joining him on the opposite side, you bring the blanket around yourself and shift to face him. Staring at him tentatively you lift your knees to your chest and hug yourself.

Raph never was the best with words; neither were you when it came to this stuff if you're being honest. However, if the tension in the air said anything, the two of you were probably on the same page.

"So... How do you think we can fix this Red?" You broke the silence, surprised at how fragile your voice seemed.

You had some ideas. Really, you only ask because, let's be honest, Raph knows Mikey better than you do. Sure you were best friends, but this was his brother you were dealing with

The red clad turtle lets out a huff turning his head to look over his shoulder at you. He was hunched over with his elbows on his knees and a grim look on his face.

"Well, we kinda fucked up by goin on that date." Raph growls and leans back into the couch, swinging his arms over the sides.

"Yeah..." You respond softly. Starting to pick at the hem of the blanket wrapped around you, you become very aware of just how large the turtle in your living room is. You need to get rid of some stuff in here so they can visit more often.

Raph chuckled, "An' with a girl as cute as ya’self I don't blame him for thinkin we didn't have a chance in tha first place-"

"Hey!" You kick out your foot hitting him in the side. "I resent that!" Shifting into a criss-cross position you frown as you continue.

"I don't care that you guys are mutants, or what you look like at all to be frank! You are all incredibly intelligent and attractive in your own ways and you're going to find someone who loves you for who you are! Mutant, human, alien or otherwise because everyone deserves someone who loves them! No matter what!" You point accusingly before continuing, “And you and Mikey are included in everyone.”

Raphael stared at you with that dumb smirk on his face as you continue to rant. It was endearing to him how much you cared about him and his brothers. Not just anyone could look at a group of mutants and see beyond outward appearances, let alone weasel their way into his family's heart.  
He already figured that Michelangelo would be the one to win your heart. The both of you were just too passionate, too empathetic, and for every screw that one of you had loose, the other had it covered. You did everything with your whole heart and with just enough reservations to keep his brother under control. Yet you were still wild enough to make Raphael fall for you too.

"-ed are you even listening to me?" You exhaled at him crossing your arms in frustration.

"Yeah spitfire just thinkin." Raphael turned to face you fully, seemingly lounging even further back into your couch with a smug look on his face..

"Wipe that smirk off your face, this is serious." You grunt in an attempt to be intimidating. Whether or not it worked wasn’t the point. Raph needed to take this seriously, the future of your friendships were at stake here.

Raph brought his hands behind his head in a stretch before answering you with a chuckle, "Look doll I already know how ta fix this."

You scoff and roll your eyes. You don't know how he could have come up with any kind of fix for this mess. Mikey had made it clear he didn't want to get romantically involved with you. It would be unwise to spend any more time with him until he reached out to you as far as you were concerned. Although you had the inclination that he was probably just as hurt about this whole ordeal as you were.

Michelangelo was more sensitive than he let on, but not in the ways you’d think. He wasn’t a sore loser, although he pretended to be. He was always acutely aware of his brother’s emotions and opened up to you often about how they were feeling and how frustrated he could get with them. He was a grown man, and got upset when he was still treated like a baby, not because they babied him (he loved being the center of attention) but because they always questioned his judgment. Putting others first was his way of taking care of his family. 

If you knew Mikey, he had probably pushed you away because he thought you would do the same and for Raphael’s sake. Which, ouch that hurts to realize.

While you liked Raphael, especially after you and April talked, you realized that any relationship with him needed to include Mikey. Platonic or romantic it didn’t matter. Your Trio was incomplete without all three of you together.

You slumped your shoulders and gave Raphael a pleading look.

He gave a sympathetic smile in return.

"I know how much ya like him doll-face, don' worry I've got it all figured out." He leaned over and placed one of his large three fingered hands on your shoulder.

“What’d you have in mind Red?” You croak.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michelangelo watched from the shadowed rooftop of the next door building. He followed Raph on his way to your place to confirm his brother’s actions.

He knew that once he had made it clear he didn't want to be with you, his brother would go to comfort you and you would fall into his arms like a storybook.

‘You were better suited for Raph anyway,’ he thought, making his stomach churn. 

From what he could tell, you were talking about reconciling and starting over. 

Despite this being Michaelangelo's intention in the first place. He still felt disgusted with himself. Knowing about your crush on him had been the hardest thing to overcome so he could play matchmaker. It had made it all that much harder to reject you then when you tried to confess to him. You were best friends, nothing more he told himself.

He’d known Raph was head over heels for you as much as he was months ago. As much as it pained him, Mikey knew that it was meant to be. The both of you had an energy that filled the room when you interacted. You had on more than one occasion pacified his brother’s violent outbursts and always took the time with both of them to communicate about feelings and coping mechanisms. His brother was your type too, and you'd be great together when you got over Mikey.

A bittersweet smile crossed his lips as he watched you climb across the couch and into his brother's lap for a hug. 

You were gonna make each other so happy. A pain struck in his chest at the thought of having to listen to you talk about your relationship with his brother instead of him. Well, being there to listen to you was his job as your best friend. He’d do whatever it took to make you happy, even if it means shattering his own heart in the process.

~~~~~~~~~

“So, we both know Mikey and his self sacrificing ass wont stop until he’s become the ultimate matchmaker and sees us together.” Raph started.

You nodded in agreement, but didn’t see where raph was going with this.

“So,” he paused suddenly looking nervous, “let’s show him that we aren’t meant ta be…”

“I don't get-”

“Be my girlfriend for a month.” He deadpans.

You felt your face flush at the bluntness of his words. Sputtering and tripping over any semblance of a response, “I- you can't just!- Raph why wou- no, we can’t- I don-”

“Calm down will ya? Jeez, ya think I'd asked ya ta kill a guy.” Raph exhaled seeming to let his nerves leave his body, but you could see his shoulders were still tense.

“Look, Tha way I see it, we can pretend ta be in a relationship for a month or so and really play it up. We start ta fight ova’ the lil shit until it’s clear that we’re not meant for eachotha’. Then Mikey gets ta swoop in and be there for ya like he did when ya were gettin ova’ Tha Beast, an presto!” He bellows with a flourish of his hands, “ Ya end up with Mr right and we can go back ta bein a trio a trouble makers.”

Raphael sat back into the couch with a satisfied grin on his face waiting for your reaction.

You had to admit that it would probably work, but you don't know if you could keep up the charade of a relationship for a whole month.

“Why so long?” You ask. “Couldn’t we just, I don't know, Pretend to date for a week and do the same thing?”

“Ya really think Mikey is gonna buy it after just one week?” He arches a brow at you. “C’mon, ya know him betta than that. He’ll start ta mediate between the botha us and get suspicious.”

Once again, Red had a solid point. You didn’t like this plan, but you can't think of anything else. And remembering the way Mikey reacted a week ago, you don't think that sitting down in a big circle and going around to share each other’s feelings was an option.

“What about you? Once this is all over you're okay with me being in a relationship with your brother?” You search his face for hesitation.

“I already told ya Dollface, I'm gonna be just fine. Besides it was my idea in tha first place. If things go up in smoke I take full responsibility.” He placed a hand over his plastron and raised the other in the air as if taking an oath.

With a sigh you crawl the short distance between the two of you and wrap him in a hug.

“Alright Raph, I'm in.” you pull away from the hug before continuing, “I really do appreciate the help.”

“Forgetta ‘bout it!” He gives you a smug look, “ ‘sides all this emotional labor stuff is really gonna start crampin’ my style afta’ a while.”

Pointing a finger at your chest in a playful manner he conceited, “Ya Wish ya could end up with a guy like me toots, enjoy it while it lasts!”

“Oh what-EVER!” You laugh and toss a pillow at him.

Maybe you could do this. It wasn’t that bad right? Sure it did seem kinda manipulative in a way, but you needed to patch things up with Mikey. And if it took a little acting to worm your way back into his shell, you’d be damned if you didn’t at least try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh, do I smell a fake relationship trope incoming??? ovo Guess you have to wait and see


	7. A better Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter mainly consists of a flashback the reader has remembering some fun times with Mikey and the other turtles

Music poured out of your small but powerful Bluetooth speaker. From its place perched on one of the edge walls you could hear it throughout the entire skate park. The sounds of upbeat pop with a heavy bass setting a rhythm that made you smile.

One foot after another you leaned and rocked back and forth to the bass of the music. Rolling around and over the hills and dips of the park. It had been a couple weeks since you had busted out your old roller skates. What better time to do it than 2am with your terrapin friends?

Mikey and Donnie had convinced you to get back into the hobby with the brothers. Each of the turtles had a unique mode of getting around in their free time. Raphael preferred skates, or roller blades rather, like you did. Leonardo was partial to the scooter, and Donatello had an old BMX bike he liked to ride. Michelangelo, of course, had his numerous custom skateboards.

You let out a small ‘oop’ as Michelangelo races past you on his daily board soaring up one of the sides of the rink.

Letting out a small "woop!", He turns and comes barreling back towards you.

You laugh in return and swivel out of his way, side stepping towards another dip in the concrete playground. Using the momentum to your advantage you pivot and lean to make it up the wall of the bowl. Your hand makes contact at the top of the lip and you lift yourself up to sit on the side of the rink.

You’d only known the Turtles for about a year, but they had welcomed you so readily into their little family of rejects. Leo and Raph had been the most skeptical of you at first, but you quickly proved that for what you may have lacked in ninjutsu you had a silver tongue to make up for. Just a week prior you had prevented the group from being discovered while fighting the Foot Clan by distracting the police long enough for them to escape.

Even being invited to their bi-weekly visits to the skate park had been a big deal. River Avenue SkatePark was in a more residential area right next to the Yankee stadium, so all of you dressed in baggy dark clothes just in case you were spotted. Not that the security was a large concern. In fact, many a time your group had been joined by other local residents and skaters just looking for an escape from the city in the early hours of the morning. The park itself was cushioned between high-rises and the underside of a train bridge, leaving plenty of cover and a few well placed escape routes. Although you, Mikey, and Raph snuck out more than the other brothers, when you all got together it was the most fun you have. 

This time it was just four of you. Leonardo was doing some agility practices on the Halfpipe adjacent to the main bowl. Mikey was currently careening through the park towards the raised platforms under the bridge before hopping off his board and making his way to one of the many sets of stairs.

Red was on the other end of the rink doing upside down push-ups on a wall before flipping back onto his feet and rolling down the adjoining launch ramp.

"Show off!!" You hollered in his direction.

The red clad turtle barked out a laugh, tossing back, "No comments from tha peanut gallery!"

Mikey, blissfully ignorant of your banter at the other end of the park, launched himself off the stair wall in the air to perfect his 360° flip into a grind. Cursing as he falls off his board in the process of returning to earth.

The Yelp catches your attention and you look over to see the youngest turtle walking back to pick up his board in frustration.

Heaving yourself off the edge you leisurely roll yourself down the bowl and over to his side. Arriving as he kicks his board up to his hand.

"What's up Mike-n-Ike?" You ask.

Mikey seems to perk up at the nickname, but shakes his head and wipes some of the sweat from his brow.

"Nothin angel-cakes, just having some trouble sticking a clean landing." He huffs, gesturing to the grind rail that starts at the end of the stairs he had jumped off of.

You shoot the structure in question with a scornful look.

"Looks pretty shifty to me, if this guy's giving you trouble I can always-" you proceed to slam your fist into your hand repeatedly.

Mikey laughed at your foux tough guy act.

"Nah it's ok," dropping his board back down, he kicked it toward the lip of the bar, only to have it bounce back at him. "I think he's learned his lesson."

He turned back to you with a smile and you watched the fluorescent street lights reflect off of his face from under the hood of his jacket. Somehow the liveliness of his eyes catches you off guard every time you look into them. The way those small scales visible through his mask move when he smiles and blinks...

You snap out of your stupor as you notice the music change from hip hop to a soft melody. 

Turning to see Raphael messing with your phone you shout, "Hey!"

Recognizing he had changed the music to your "soft jams" playlist. Raph simply gives you a shrug in response and smirks before putting your phone back on the ledge beside your speaker. You try to make note of the song as the soft, bluesy tunes of Bruno major's 'Easily' lilts across the skate park.

"What a helpless romantic." You mutter exasperated. “I swear he goes to his own little world without us when he listens to music. Not that he’ll ever admit it.”

"Yeah..." Mikey exhales.

Pivoting back, you see him staring at you. You waited a moment longer to see if he was going to continue before giving him a shrug. Pushing yourself off of him with a smile, you propel back into the slopes of the skate park. 

The slower beat makes you feel graceful as you glide round the concrete. Though, you exhale at the thought you probably look less lithe than you think you do.

Raph skates towards you and extends a hand. You were aware that the gesture meant to grab on and he would sling you towards the bowl with the momentum needed to do some more extreme tricks. As the two of you had done many times before. With a grin you crouched. Ducking below his outstretched hand and swiveling just in time to enter the slope of the bowl backwards. Watching with amusement as the red turtle guffawed at your actions and pivoted himself to trail after you.

The two of you made eye contact as you chased each other around the park even bringing Mikey into the race once or twice. Only pausing once or twice to lazily weave while the other did a trick.

The loud clang of a board hitting the grind rail caught your attention as you backed up a ramp to a spine. Your eyes snapped to Mikey as he finally landed the bar perfectly and Whooped in triumph.

You rolled backward off the spine calling out, “Fuckin sick Mi-” before colliding with something solid behind you.

A yelp escaped your lips as your skated slipped out from under you and you fell onto the concrete.

“Oh fuck! My bad Dollface!” Raph called from where he had fallen himself.

Groaning you rolled over and sat up to inspect the damage. The palms of your hands had gotten a little scraped and they stung as you brushed some loose gravel off of them, but overall you were unharmed. Thank god for knee pads and helmets.

“Watch where you're going next time big guy!” You laugh, “It's not a game of pinball!”  
Raph extended a hand to you and pulled the both of you up at the same time. Brushing yourself off as he let out a low chuckle and wiped his shoulder.

“What? Ya not down wit’ fallin’ for me every once an a while?” he remarked with a wink and his signature cocky smile.

“Oh you wish Red!” You barked and smacked the plastron where his chest would be.

Pushing yourself off him with a grin, you looked over to see Mikey and Leo celebrating.

“That looked like it hurt.” The blue-clad ninja laughed.

“Yeah maybe you need to teach them better perception skills Boy Blue.” You jest and shift your weight to skate a circle around him.

Turning your attention away from the older brother, you hold a hand to high five Michelangelo as you pass.

“That was a super cool move Mike, congrats!”

“Wanna see me do it again?!”

“Fuck Yeah!”

The rest of your time at the park was spent in a competition between you and Mikey to see who could do the coolest trick going down the stairs. Ultimately it came down to a tie with you having better form, but him having points for style.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That memory was one of the many that came to mind when you thought of hanging out with Michelangelo.

He escorted you home that night, and by escort you meant the two of you raced through the streets on your wheels. When you finally arrived at the apartment complex you insisted he come up and get some water before heading home. Which turned into the two of you staying up into the dawn playing video games and falling asleep on the couch together.

Leo and Splinter had lectured the two of you for an hour each about responsibility, and the danger of getting caught, ect, ect. But even while getting lectured the look you gave each other assured you that both of you would do it over again in a second.

Looking back now you don't think you could count how many lectures the two of you endured before Splinter pretty much gave up. Leo would still get on your case every once and awhile though.

It had been a day and a half since you and Raph concocted the convoluted plan to get you and Mikey together. You had barely looked at your phone except to update and inform April on the plan just in case things went south. You thought it would be smart to take some time to think it over before going forward. 

You knew that what you were doing was manipulative to Mikey, but you still felt as though you had no better option. You didn’t think that he would be willing to talk about his feelings. If he wanted to he would have messaged you to work things out by now. No, You were going to have to show him that he was wrong about you and Raph. Show him that the two of you were meant to be.

Catching your eyes in the mirror you gave yourself a once over. Two day old pajamas, dirty hair, and crusty eyes were not a look for you. Jeez, time for a shower...

And engage in some self care. And maybe eat some ice cream. Or a whole tub of ice cream... You handle rejection and stress very well indeed.

You let out a sigh and decide you should probably get out of bed and clean up.

Picking up tissues, trash, dirty dishes, etc. You will your way to the kitchen and loath washing the pile of dishes in the sink. Instead, after throwing away the evidence of your indulgence, you flop down on the couch in your front room.

Only to hear your phone buzz in your bedroom seconds later. You pull yourself up with a groan and pad back to retrieve your phone.

*Text message from ‘RedDead’  
“Doll we gotta talk abou…”

"Gross," you sigh. Clicking your screen off and throwing it on the bed before flopping on it yourself.

Though sleep had eluded you you could at least pretend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter and late! next chapter is going to be a bit longer and we're getting back to some major plot stuff!


	8. PVP Arena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You come back to the Lair and enjoy a bit of normalcy as well as learning something new.

Two weeks had officially gone by since your confession and subsequent rejection with Mikey. It was Thursday so you were on your way to restart the regular workouts you had with the boys. For the first time in two weeks you were going to set foot back in the lair. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss it.

You got plenty of texts and invitations in the past week, but it still felt a bit soon. After talking with Raphael the both of you agreed that you would plan a “date” for Saturday and tell everyone that the first date just ended in a misunderstanding. He had mentioned yesterday that pretty much everyone knew and were supportive but Mikey hadn’t really commented on it.

When you came to the entrance, you stopped to take a deep breath and ground yourself.

You wanted to make things right with your best friend, and that meant apologizing for your actions. Realizing that you hadn’t taken his feelings into account when you were confessing your own was hard to come to terms with. Regardless of how abrasive his reaction was, his emotions were valid and you know that he’s probably still beating himself up about it.

Walking into the lair, the first thing to greet you was the sight of Raphael, Donatello, and Splinter congregating around their kitchen table.

“Heyo!” You called to them announcing your presence.

They all turned to acknowledge you and uttered greetings of their own. As you approached the table you noticed dozens of old polaroid photos depicting the turtles and splinter were spread out.

“Oh shit, we’re looking at baby photos?” You smiled and looked over to splinter for approval. After he gave a small nod in return you reached forward and picked up the photo closest to you.

It was of a significantly younger Leonardo holding a rough looking paper crane up to the camera. He bore the biggest grin that showed off a couple missing teeth and wore a tattered blue bandana around his neck. A quiet ‘Awwe” escaped you as your eyes poured over the picture.

“Master Splinter found an old box of photos from when we were younger.” Donnie explained. “I figured I could scan and upload them to a digital archive just in case anything ever happened to the originals.”

Pushing his goggles further up his forehead, Donnie reached forward and picked up one of the pictures with a grin.

“I don't remember this one.” He passed the image across the table to Splinter’s outstretched hand. “What were we doing there?”

You leaned over the old rat’s shoulder to get a better view. A small chuckle came from the both of you at the photo in his hands. It was slightly blurred, but in it you could see what looked like Raphael and Donatello holding up and rummaging through various cardboard boxes. They couldn’t have been older than 12 from the comically large glasses on Donnie and the dated colored pants Raphael wore that were popular around the time.

Master splinter smiled before explaining, “You and Raphael were always on the hunt for materials you could craft with. A pile of dry shipping boxes had been dumped and the two of you were excited to make a giant fortress like you had seen on the television.”  
He passed the photo back to the taller turtle and continued, “You boys were so excited I had to grab the camera!”

“Oh yeah,” Raphael mumbled with a soft laugh. “I remember makin’ tha castle. We ended up dryin’ out like two markers colorin’ tha damn thing jus’ for it ta last a week.”

“How old were they Splinter?” You inquire.

He brought a furry hand up to stroke his beard almost in a stereotypical fashion as he pondered your question. The look in his eyes held a soft fondness and nostalgia as he recalled the memory.

“Hmm, if I remember correctly they were about ten” He stated gruffly. “Yes, ten, as that was the same year…” Splinter paused and extended a hand, scouring the table of photos. Uttering a small ‘aha’ as he selected a photo print from the pile.

“The same year,” He held the picture in front so the both of you could view it. “That Michelangelo broke his arm.”

The image Splinter held showed a small dirty mutant turtle with a Band-Aid on his forehead holding up a yellow casted arm with pride. You knew that splinter had hoarded every viable medical supply he encountered while the boys were growing up as well as reading dozens of medical books for when the boys got sick or injured. The cast was definitely rudimentary in nature but it looked solid. If it wasn’t for the fact you were looking at a mutant turtle, Mikey looked as excited as any other child after getting a cast.

“Awwe,” You crooned, “what did he do to break it?”

Splinter’s ear flicked behind him. “Ask Leonardo.” He stated smugly turning around.

You followed his movement to see the last two brothers entering the living area from the dojo. Leo looked curious at the mention of his name and the sudden attention directed his way.

As both turtles neared your group you asked in a teasing tone, “Yeah Boy Blue, how did you break Mikey’s arm?”

A flush overtook Leonardo’s face and he stopped short of the circle.

“Uh… It was an accident...” He mumbled and brought a hand up to rub the back of his neck.

“Oh, Bull-Shit!” Mikey interjected, wrapping an arm around the shoulders of his brother. Splinter let out a small huff at his son’s language.

“Don't you remember?” He carried on, “You bet me a whole pizza that I couldn’t beat you to the end of that pipe. Slimy move to push me on ‘go’ Bro!” He pushed himself off of his brother and made his way forward.

“I didn’t mean for you to break your arm though.” Leo uttered, clearly embarrassed by the memory.

A small giggle left you as you turned your attention back to the table of photos. There was a good chunk of the turtle's childhoods captured in these photos. Stories and moments that you probably had no idea about, but you wanted to.

“What about this one?” You pick up another picture, this one of Raphael, Leonardo, and an older Asian man. They were older in these, probably around their mid teens and both wearing different hoodies that obscured their faces slightly. They stood in front of a ramen bar somewhere in the alleys of Chinatown, at what you assumed was night.

“Ah…” Splinter murmured sorrowfully. “That my dear is the late Mr. Yamamura.” the old rat reached forward to take the photo from you and Leo came up to stand behind his father.

“Wait, but weren’t you just over at Yamamura's the other week?” You ask.

“Yes my dear, but this Is his husband…” He saw your face drop slightly before continuing. “The Yamamura’s came to New York for refuge at the height of the 80’s to escape Nihon. My boys used to sneak out and get the fresh soba he made late at night. They did not care that we were mutants and welcomed them into their home. We became friends, and yes I play Mahjong with his husband Ichigo, who still runs the restaurant with their children.”

You took a closer look at the photo. The man standing next to the brothers wore a simple black button up with a white apron tied around his waist. He didn't look particularly sick, in fact he looked rather healthy. ‘He must have passed recently then’ you thought to yourself.

“When was this one taken?” You ask.

Splinter passed the photo to Leonardo and wrapped his hands around a cup of tea you hadn't noticed before.

“Please make sure that photograph gets to Ichigo my son.” He mumbled in Donatello's direction.

“Four-ish years ago, before we met you. We had just turned 17,” Leo answered you. “It was our birthday, well technically Raph’s day. So Mr Yamamura wanted to make us dinner.” The eldest turtle thumbed the edges of the photograph gently.

“He died six months later from complications ta AIDs…” The whole room became deathly silent at Raphael’s words.

Leo nodded sullenly, lamenting, “He was a good man. We have known them since we were 14...”

You had no idea that they had such important ties to this family. It made sense though. You knew that the Yamamura household was somewhere Splinter had friends and that the whole family was welcome there. Your heart ached in your chest at the thought of the boys losing a father figure like that.  
Even though you had more questions, breaking the somber silence felt like the wrong thing to do.

“Dude, you remember when Mr. Yamma found out Yams was giving us the prepped noodles at the end of the day?” Mikey finally broke the silence.

Donnie snorted abruptly, “Ha! Man, the poor guy almost had a conniption when he saw us standing in the back kitchen!”

“I mean how would you react if you saw Raph’s ugly mug out of nowhere?” Leo chimed in.

Raph choked at his brother’s jab. “W-Well at least I neva’ got caught back there wit’ Camilla!” He shot back.

Your head whipped around to Leo with a shit eating grin, “Who’s Camilla huh?”

The turtle’s blush could be seen clearly from under his mask as he crossed his arms.

“I'm not having this conversation.” he declared, pivoting on one foot he started to walk away from the group.

Mikey jeered, “Oh just Leo’s GIRLF-”

“SHUT UP MIKEY!” Leo yelled over his shoulder as he made his way to the lair entrance.

You turned expectantly to Donnie and Mikey across the table. Mikey ducked down and held a hand up to cover the side of his mouth as he whispered, “Yamamura’s second oldest. They had a fling-thing when we were 16 an he got caught making out behind the Ice maker!”

“How scandalous!” You couldn’t hold back a giggle. Never would you have guessed that their fearless leader could partake in such slanderous activities as kissing!

“Yeah,” he snickered, “Talk about ‘Not Cool’.”

Master Splinter let out a soft chuckle at your gossiping and took a sip of his tea. The tallest terrapin rolled his eyes and moved to sit beside his father. For, what you assumed was, help organizing and going through the dozens of other photographs still splayed out on the table.

A large, three fingered hand slapped down on both of your shoulders, accompanied by a loud cough startling you and Mikey out of your little huddle. Both of you whipped your heads up to Raph standing there with a smug grin on his face.

Oh yeah, you were supposed to be working out before getting sidetracked with personal lore.

“Alright, enough messin round ya two.” Raph bellowed, his aura bled tenacity as he continued, “Ya’ve had plenty of time ta blow off yer trainin’. Time ta get back ta work!”

Your eyes met with Mikey’s for a split second, mirroring your dread at what was to come as you were both yanked away from the kitchen and towards the workout room.

After an hour of weights Raph decided that some light sparring would be a good way to finish out the workout. The large turtle made his way to the tatami matts across the room to start stretching and you glanced over to the other brother.

The three of you had pretty much been acting like you normally would since you arrived. If you didn’t know better you’d think that things were back to normal. Michelangelo hadn’t said or done anything to make you believe he resented you in any way, but you could see something simmering under the surface when you looked at him.

Catching your gaze he groaned and smiled before tossing a clean towel at you. “C’mon, if we keep him waiting he’ll make us run instead.”

The thought made you shudder as you wiped the sweat from your brow and made your way over with him. Sitting on the mat in your usual spot you wondered what Katas or drills raph was going to make you guys run through.

Going through all of the warmup stretches just made you hyper aware of how sore you were going to be after this. An important reminder that consistency is key. You leaned forward to grab your feet from your sitting position and a loud pop resonated from your spine.

“Mmmmmm, fuck-” You moaned as warmth flooded across your back, and you held the position for a few more seconds. Sitting back up with a sigh, you twist your torso back and forth to pop anything else and finish loosening up.

Looking back to the brothers you saw Mikey stretching like you were, but he was facing towards the wall. Raphael was also turned away from you rubbing his face as if he was irritated.

“You guys okay? Ready?” You ask, getting up from your position on the floor.

“Jus’ waitin’ on you, Princess.” Raph scoffed as he squared up to you.

Alright, so freeform sparring. You could do that… Squaring up to Raph you bring your loose fists up to rest near your face. He’ll probably go easy on you considering it's been so long since-NOPE!

You jump at the last second to avoid the sweeping leg of the turtle in front of you. Using your surprise to his advantage a left hook finds its way to your ribs, causing you to fall hard on the mats below.  
Despite losing your breath you are able to wrap your legs around his calf and pull him to the ground with you. As fast as you can, you wrap an arm around his bicep with your hand at the back of his neck, effectively locking that arm. As raph tries to get up he grasps the back of your shirt with his other hand and yanks you off on him.

“Oof!” You yelp hitting the mat once more.

“Oh Boo!” Mikey calls from somewhere behind you. “She was gonna do the pin thing!”

You chuckled at his commentary. You were, in fact, trying to flip the giant turtle onto his stomach, but now it’s onto plan B.

Raph crouched over you with a satisfied glower.

“Tappin’ out?” He rumbled.

‘No,’ you thought, ‘just waiting’.

Now that he was over you, you reached up and yanked his head down into your chest before he could pull away. Sweeping your leg under his, you knocked him off balance. Flipping him over and onto his back with a loud thud. Hopping on top of him to pin his right inside arm with your left leg, pinning the other arm with your right hand, and leaving your left forearm pressed against his throat.

“Hah!” You pant, “Pin to win!” Raphael’s golden eyes looked proud as you smiled down in triumph. Your breath caught for a moment as you realized the precarious position you had put yourself in to pin your larger competitor. Essentially sitting on his chest, faces merely inches apart, and an arm pressed against his throat. You felt your cheeks burn at the realization.

The turtle under you let out a bark of a laugh, “Aight! Ya got me. Now geddup so I can kick Mikey’s ass.”

Practically jumping up at his words, and the realization that Raphael was almost certainly laughing at the blush on your cheeks. Hopefully you could play it off as just being hot from working out.

“Whatever you say dude,” Mikey chuckled as he got up to take your place.

“Don't get discouraged, I know i make it look easy.” you say giving him a light shove as you pass. Grabbing your water bottle and plopping down where Mikey was sitting previously, you prepare to watch the brothers go at it.

Watching any of the turtles spar was always a fun time. They always went easier on you than they did each other (which is probably why you were able to pin Raph so quickly). Each brother seemed to have a unique style when it came to fighting. Having learned to play to each other’s strengths and weaknesses, it was always an interesting show.

“Ready? Set! Fight!” You declare in a mockingly low voice.

Mikey had squared off already, bouncing back and forth like a mortal kombat character. Him and Leonardo were the more agile of the brothers you had noticed. Raphael and Donnie were grounded like a rock to any position they moved to. It was very hard to move them unless they wanted to or you catch them off guard.

Raph, getting impatient as always makes the first move towards his brother. A short low strike that is easily dodged.

Kick. Dodge. Duck. Grab. Swing. Jab. Duck. Kick. Jump. Dodge.

You analyze every move they make, the twisting and dodging of blows from each other making an enthralling match. For every hit Raph tried to make Mikey could dodge it. And for every move Mikey made, Raph seemed one step ahead trying to catch him off guard.

The air in the room became thicker as the fight went on. Usually one of the brothers would have given in by now, but it seemed they were sparring as if their lives depended on it. You could have swore you saw rage in both of their eyes for a split second.

Watching with shallow breath as their hits and dodges get tighter and more intense. With how close they were getting to each other it was inevitable that someone would slip up. Biting your lip, you watched sweat drip down the bodies of both men as they stayed evenly locked in combat.

You sucked in air with a hiss watching a hit collide with the inner lip of the smaller turtle’s shell that would cause him to pivot into what looked like a kick from Raph.

To your surprise, you saw the flash of a smile from Mikey as he used the momentum to guide his brother's leg right past him. With a flair of his hand, he wrapped his arm around Raph’s much like you had before and swept his brothers other leg. Sending the larger careening to the floor landing on his back with a loud thud.

Michelangelo stood panting over his brother’s winded form with pride before looking over at you with an almost lecherous desire on his face. A bead of sweat dripped slowly down his neck and over his collarbone. His muscles twitched and glistened in the low light and you watched his chest expand with each labored breath. When your eyes flicked to his, the usual baby blues were dark and filled with an aura that made your stomach flip.

Snapping back to reality you smiled back at him to cover the flush rising to your cheeks.

“Nice one Mikey!” You praise, before turning your attention to the terrapin still laying on the floor. “You doing okay there big guy?”

An unintelligible grumble reached your ears.

“I’ll take that as a yes, Big Red.” You stand and walk the short distance to the dejected turtle’s side.

“Whateva” Raph mumbles and he rolls over to push himself up.

“So you done getting your butt kicked for the day?” you ask, shifting your weight onto one leg and crossing your arms.

“Yeah I’m done Babydoll.” Rubbing the back of his neck and turning to his brother he groans, “Did ya have ta put me down so hard asshole?”

You felt your cheeks somehow burn even hotter than before at the new nickname he seemed to drop out of nowhere. At least no one was looking at you right then.

Mikey laughed and slapped his brother's plastron with the back of his hand mocking, “Well, maybe if you weren’t such a Meathead Bitch you could keep up!”

Your jaw dropped at his brazen attitude, but Raph just laughed in response and pushed past his brother towards the workout bench.

“Alright smartass, how ‘bout some real competition.” Grabbing a towel and wiping himself off. He turned back to the two of you and gestured his thumb toward the entertainment room. “Best 2 outa 3 pvp gets ta pick what’s for eats.”

Mikey pumped his fist, “Hell yeah my dude! What are we thinkin? Some Mortal Kombat? Blackops?” He started walking backwards in the direction of the den still listing games. “-Apex Legends? Fortnite? Minecraft?”

You arched a brow as you and Raph followed behind him. “You wanna play PvP minecraft? Is it 2014?”

“Hey!” He pointed a finger at you accusingly, “Don’t shit on pvp minecraft bro, unless you think you’re just too much of a Noob to beat us.” His smug grin taunted you.

A devilish idea crossed your mind as you entered the couch filled room. Pivoting to face the larger turtle you ask, “What do you think Raphie? 2v1 Minecraft?”

You watch with amusement as his cheeks darkened like yours had at the new nickname.

“Yeah.” He smirked, catching on to your plan. “That good with you Mikey?”

“Yeah,” The orange-clad turtle called absently as he set up the console and gathered remotes. “Wait what? No teams!”

“Too late!” you laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Figured yall deserved a long one after waiting so long for ch7, I hope you liked! Next chapter sees a bit of conflict so be wArNeD!! <3


	9. Resolve Sick Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Mikey have a good talk and smooth things out, but Unresolved desires may still persist.

A change of clothes and another two hours later Michelangelo had officially beat both you and Raph at Minecraft. To be honest you weren’t sure when to call it, but when you were murdered in front of your burning house it seemed only right to admit defeat.

Riding his success filled high Mikey declared that, “We are to feast on pizza my dudes!” And as per tradition and the rules of engagement losers pay. You didn’t mind too much though, spending time together after what felt like an eternity apart was worth your computer block house and two pizzas.

The problem came when Raph said that he needed to go pick up the food… and he insisted he go alone… Leaving you alone with your best friend who, fun reminder, last time you were alone ended up yelling at you for declaring your love for him. Fun times....

You became very aware of the fact that the older turtle was also sitting in between the two of you, creating a nice little bubble of comfort. Which was about to be shattered as you watched him sign out of the world.

“Aight, time ta get tha goods!” Raph announced, tossing his controller on the couch and getting up with a stretch. “Short-stack, if ya burn down our house again, ima throttle ya!” He pointed at his brother in a hollow threat.

“Whatever dude, that’s what you get when you take my diamonds!” Mikey retorted over his shoulder as his brother left.

The three of you had just been messing around on your regular survival Minecraft world since your defeat. However, you knew Red had insisted on going alone so that you and Mikey could have time to smooth things over. As much as you hated to admit it, you knew he was going to take his sweet time too.

You just kept planting flowers around your little block house, waiting for him to say something.

Not that you expected him to really. In the end you knew that you would have to be the one to bring it up.

He was really just gonna keep mining…

You let out a soft sigh and took a deep breath. Well whether or not he wanted to talk, you at least needed to apologize and acknowledge your mistake.

“We don't have to talk if you don’t want to…” You started hesitantly.

“But I want to just say that I'm sorry for not taking your feelings into account. I should have listened to you when you told me to stop.” You put your controller down and shifted so that you were facing him

Mikey seemed just as nervous as you were when it came down to actually confronting each other about what happened. He didn't respond but his body language didn’t seem too stiff, so you took that as a soft green light.

“Don't know what I was thinking honestly, I just kinda panicked.” You watched your companion stiffen as the words left your lips.

Your eyes followed the movements of his character as he stopped and finally paused the game.

“Yeah, I think I did too Angel.” His hushed tone was almost too soft to hear.

You toed your shoes off and brought your feet up to sit criss-cross on the couch facing him. “Its oka-”

“No it's not!” He cut you off with a groan.

You flinched slightly at his sudden change in tone.

Mikey shot you an apologetic look and brought one of his hands up to rub his face.

“You can't just say things are okay. Espe-dude, especially after I broke my promise an yelled at you like that. I cross my heart. I wasn't angry at you, I just-!” He paused and stared into the rug at his feet as if it held the answer he was looking for.

“I guess I was just mad at myself for being wrong?” He turned his attention to the gaming controller in his hands and over to you with a frustrated glance.

“I just- I'm sorry for lashing out like that dude. It really wasn’t cool of me to get heated when I just didn't know how to react…” Michelangelo finally turned to face you bringing a leg up to lounge against the arm of the couch.

“I guess I was just bankin on you an my bro!” The way he laughed at his own words should have seemed genuine.

You could tell he was lying through his teeth.

His eyes softened and he stared longingly at the cushion between your feet.

“I see the way he looks at you Angelcakes, an I can tell that you guys have some serious mojo goin’ on between the two of you. That’s the whole reason why I brought it up in the first place ya know? Besides, you're the raddest chick around! I couldn't imagine anyone better for my big bro.”

A small smile seemed to grace his lips as he pondered the thought. “Glad you guys workin it out though yo! You’re gonna be a killer duo together.”

Forcing a smile yourself as your eyes met. You didn’t believe him for a second. If you weren’t best friends you might have, he certainly put on a brave face. Ever the selfless one your Mikey.

But you knew that he was putting himself right back in the same loop as before. Always the groomsman, never the groom or something like that? It was a good front. A bachelor and wingman who's young, and wild, and free from worry. The self proclaimed “Master matchmaker” who wanted a connection more than anything else.

It hurt to see him put his loved one’s happiness before his own.

“I hope so,” You finally respond. “I was thinking about what you said when Raph came to me. I decided to give him a second try... He asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes, but in all honesty I wanted to see how a second date went.” It was his idea in the first place you kept telling yourself.

“Hey a second date!” He shifted and poked your knee with his foot. “That’s more than anyone else has gotten out of you in a while.” It was hard to not let the teasing in his voice win you over.

You forced out a laugh, “Yeah? I’m better than you’ve ever done in your life, so what’s your point smartass!”

Picking your controllers back up, you prepare to get back into your game.

“Eh,” Mikey shrugged and jostled you with his foot once more, “you’re nice and all Angel, but bein’ honest, you're not really my type.”

He chuckled and unpaused the game.

It shot an arrow through you.

To hear him utter such a backhanded compliment to your face. Was he trying to upset you? Did everyone just get it wrong, and he really didn’t like you? Was he just trying to distance himself?

You played it off like he was joking around.

“Oh whatever!” You exclaimed feigning insult, ”You wish you had a catch as good as me you goofball” Chucking a wayward pillow at him and turned your attention back to the game.

He asked after a moment, “So…. We good Angelcakes?” 

“Yeah Mikey, were good.” You look over with a reassuring smile to see him already bearing a satisfied grin of his own.

Did it really matter at the end of the day? You were still friends. The connection you were so afraid of breaking is stronger than that. It felt silly looking back now how easily you had doubted the bond that brings you together.

Ten or so minutes after your reconciliation Raphael came back with the long awaited food.

“Jesus, you get attacked by a bear on your way here?” You joke pausing the game at the red turtle’s return.

Mikey laughed, “If the ‘Za is cold I'm sending you back for more dude!”

Sitting up in your seat the smell of oil and cheese wafted by, making your mouth water.

“Jeez, yer always on my case ya Smartasses.” Raphael dropped the pizza boxes on the coffee table. “I’ll have ya know I fought TWO bears ta get ya this pizza here!” He chuckled and opened the box to reveal a fresh pizza from your favorite local parlor.

Flopping back on the couch between you and Michelangelo once more with a slice in each hand. You leaned over the mass that was your fake boyfriend and grabbed a slice for yourself.

Draping your legs over Raph’s lap deliberately as you settled back into the couch. He took your leg room so it was only fair.

He grunted and looked down at your legs in disdain. Looking past him you could see Mikey giggle in delight as you pushed his brother’s buttons.  
“I'm eatin’ here toots.” The large turtle grumbled.

“No rights.” You shot back with a look daring him to argue.

“No rights?” Mikey asked inquisitively.

Nodding your head decisively. “Boyfriends don't get rights, or dibs.” You chuckled and took a big bite out of your slice.

Mikey burst out in laughter and Raph gave you an indignant look that sent you into a fit of giggles yourself.

If you were going to commit to this, might as well go 100% in.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After bidding you goodnight, Mikey had gone straight to his room and flopped down on his wrinkled sheets. You had said something a while ago about changing them, but the orange-clad ninja could never seem to be bothered.

Raphael had offered to walk you home instead of him, and you had happily accepted. That was something that Mikey was going to have to get used to. Raph was your boyfriend now, so there were a lot of little traditions that were going to change for the sake of your relationship.

He knew that going into this, but like before, it didn’t make it any easier.

A pang shot through his heart as he looked at the bottom drawer of his dresser that housed all of your extra clothes you had accumulated and left over the years. The thought of those being moved to his brother’s room filled him with jealousy.

Mikey sat up and grabbed one of his pillows, bringing it close to his chest in a hug as he thought over everything he has said tonight.

Not everything he said was a lie.

In fact a lot of it was true.  
He didn’t mean to come off as harsh as he did, and he never meant to yell at you. That night was the last time he expected you to confess any kind of feelings for him, and he didn’t plan on pushing you away like that. It made him feel worse when you said that you blame yourself for how he reacted.

‘Fuck my feelings!’ He thought, squeezing the pillow tighter, ‘Did this for you and Raph!’

With a frustrated sigh he slammed himself back onto the bed below.

Michelangelo did think that you and his brother were a good pair for each other. There was indeed serious mojo flowing. Not that saying it stopped him from thinking that he’d be a better match.

“No!” He facepalmed trying to force the thought away.

It was becoming harder and harder for the poor turtle to deny the romantic attraction he had for you. No matter how hard he tried, at the end of the day all he wanted was to be there for you. Not as a friend, more than a partner, as your companion in life.

The two of you had grown so close over the three and a half years you had known each other. You were his best friend and confidant. He trusted you with, almost, everything, and you trusted him back.

He remembered the first time he had really opened up to you.

“You don’t have to pretend with me.” You had stated out of nowhere

“… what?” He responded.

Mikey’s smile faltered. You were playing videogames on the couch like you always did. He was cracking jokes and puns as usual, but you had been less enthused than normal.

“You know you can be real with me right?” You glanced over to him before refocusing on the screen.

“You don’t need to keep the happy-go-lucky shtick up all the time. If you ever need to show the turtle behind the mask.” You raised a hand and waved it in an ‘ect.’ motion.

You shrugged, “I get it you know? It’s hard to act like shit doesn’t get to you when it does. You don’t have to pretend all the time. It’s exhausting... So, ya-know, I’m here if you need to vent.”

“What? No. No I- That’s not- I’m-” He clamored staring agape at you.

Mikey was devastated at the time. This was never supposed to happen. No one knew about how much shit could get under his skin. He made sure no one knew. He was so sure he had perfected everything. The smile and the jokes: They were perfect: They had to be. Mikey’s supposed to be the happy one; the goofy one; the annoying little brother trope. He’s not supposed to be… Not-happy.

H-he had never really been allowed to be. It’s always “get over it Mikey” or “shut up Mikey”. It’s true, after a while it got to him a bit. But he told himself he could handle it. He always had. He was good at hiding, always being the glue that brought everyone together instead of breaking. That’s how he justified it at least.

You. You shouldn’t have noticed. He had always made sure he was smiling around you, so you knew he enjoyed your company. He tried to make sure you were always laughing, or happy. He was good at that! He’s good at cheering people up; making them feel better! He liked making you happy! That’s what he was supposed to do. Right? He’d had these thoughts more times than he’d admit. God he’s such a-

Mikey snapped out of his own thoughts and realized he had been staring at you. You had paused the game and we’re patiently waiting for him to respond.

“Oh! Uh sorry dudette,” he nervously rubbed the back of his neck, “you just caught me a bit outta the loop! Let’s keep playin-” He quickly pressed the on pause button and turned to the TV, hoping you would let it go. You were a lot like him so you get easily distracted too right? What was a better distraction than video games?

You paused the game again, never taking your eyes off him. His breath hitched. ‘No, no, no, no he’s not doing this here. Not in front of you. He hated conflict. He couldn’t do this not in front of you. Can’t you two just go back to playing video games?’ He had thought to himself.

Out of his periphery he saw you move. He didn’t look. He couldn’t. Were you going to leave? Did he do something wrong? Were you going to yell at him? His mind raced a mile a minute. He was getting deeper and darker into his own mind. He was scared.

“… Mikey… It’s okay.” You touched his shoulder.

It was so gentle.

He might have not even registered it if you hadn’t said his name beforehand. 

There was so much meaning behind that touch. You had shown no hesitation when it came to reaching out to him. So confident and comforting. You pulled him out of the dark funk of his mind. No one had ever thought to even ask and you go and do just that?

He slowly turned and looked at you. You locked eyes, and he saw himself.

Stars above, you knew. 

You had known everything and he didn't even have to say a word. He didn’t remember when he started crying. Tears streaming down his face had wet his mask to the point of sticking to his face. You reached up agonizingly slow and untied the orange cloth before taking his face in your hands.

He’s never thought your eyes looked more beautiful than in that moment. So filled with patience and understanding, he thought you looked like an Angel.

You had lamented a couple months later that in the moment you thought he, “had the most beautiful blue eyes. And even though they were overflowing it only made them shine brighter.” Your words made his heart tremble.

Mikey folded like a house of cards. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into his lap before burying his face into your chest. A choked sob left his lips as you slowly pet his head cooing and comforting him.

“It’s ok Mikey. You don’t have to pretend anymore.”

That moment meant so much more to Him now than it ever did before. You were always so patient and understanding. Teaching him and his brothers new ways of opening up and talking about their issues. 

Those words made him spill his guts to you on more than one occasion. He had even used it on you once or twice. Letting your guards down only to each other, it made a bond as strong as the ones he had with his brothers.

But it was a lie, Mikey told himself. He had to pretend, to lie, so that you could be happy. As much as he knew you cared for him, he couldn’t see past his own imperfections. He had his own shit to figure out and you needed someone who could protect you from the ways you’d been hurt in the past.

So who was the best alternative to himself? His brother who cared for you just as much as he did, and you could build a bond with romantically.

Curling further into his sheets and rolling over Mikey noticed something black sitting on the edge of his bed.

Oh… It was your workout shirt from earlier…

“Gross dude.” he muttered to himself, shoving away the onslaught of intrusive thoughts.

He reached out and picked up the plain black T-shirt. Contemplating if he should just throw it in his laundry basket with no doubt the rest of your clothes from earlier.

Instead. He gave in and brought the fabric up to his nose. Your scent overpowered his senses and he fell back onto his mattress in bliss.

He could worry about the morality of sniffing his best friend’s dirty shirt later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WoaH two long chapters in 24 hrs? I am just throwing the content at yall! But in all seriousness the next couple chapters are gonna get a bit angsty and we're going to explore some more explicit territory, so hold onto your hats!


	10. Roses are Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saturday has come, so you and Raphael try that dating thing one more time~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long wait! CHs 11 and 12 are already finished so they'll come out later this week! To make up for it here's an extra long one. Enjoy!

Luckily, your relationship with Mikey was pretty much the same as before you had confessed to him. His enthusiasm when you told him about you and Red going out on another date was so forced it hurt you. But at least he believed you believed him.

Speaking of, it was Saturday. You were getting your apartment ready for your second date with the large terrapin.

The both of you had agreed that you would go try takeout from a new bar. It had opened a couple blocks from your apartment and specialized in New England style fish & chips.

Raphael had insisted that you plan to go for a stroll. Although, you weren’t sure if you would be going by yourself or if a certain turtle had planned on watching you from the shadows. That was left to be seen.

A smug humm left you at the thought of Red staying behind in your apartment to “prepare” for your fake date together.

The thought had crossed your mind before that one of the other turtle brothers could be watching your interactions with each other. However, knowing the boys as well as you did, you could guess that it was either an all or nothing operation. And it was very unlikely that if that WAS the case, Raphael wouldn’t have found out and put a stop to it.

There was also the knowledge that Michelangelo probably couldn’t stomach the fact you were together with his brother. You didn’t think he was that much of a masochist as to watch you pursue another man.

Your brows furrowed for a second.

Right?

The persistent buzzing of your phone in your pocket derailed any thoughts you were developing.

You barely registered the caller ID as you answered the call coming through with a, “Y-ello?”

“Come open tha window, Juliette. Yer knight in shinin’ armour has arrived.” Raphael’s gravely voice came through the speaker with a chuckle.

Hanging up with a roll of your eyes, you trot back into your bedroom to undo the latch on your window. Shooting a smile at the shadow waiting on the other side of the glass.

You flick the lock and lift up the large pane.

“I don’ know why ya keep lockin’ tha damn thing. Not very efficient ta have ta unlock it every time we come ova'.” The large turtle grumbled as the crawled through the window sill.

You quip back, “You’re not very observant for someone who’s supposed to be an expert on fighting off bad guys.”

Raph scoffed as you turned to make your way out of your bedroom.

“Whateva’” He muttered following after you.

One you made it into your living room where there was a bit better lighting, you turned to face the large turtle.

Raph’s outfit seemed innocuous on its own. A large burnt red hoodie obscured his frame, and the bulk of his shell was cleverly disguised with the exterior of a backpack. Baggy cargo pants covered his lower half and he wore some tattered tennis shoes to hide his feet. The large hood of his sweatshirt partially hid his face, making him look like any other New York commuter from a glance.

Kudos for creativity.

“Is that like a 4XL or something?” You laugh and pinch the fabric of his sweatshirt between your fingertips.

The red-clad turtle brought a hand to his chest in mock offense.

“Are ya callin’ me fat?” He scoffed, “Low blow, Spitfire.”

Your eyes flickered to his hands where you noticed he was wearing gloves as well. Without thinking you reach forward, bringing his hands into yours.

They were leather biker gloves, but closer inspection showed that they had been custom made. Probably by hand if the sturdy craftsmanship was to say anything. Pseudo seams ran down the midsection of both fingers giving the appearance of four fingers instead of two. Your fingers ran gently over the textured leather as you examined his hand.

“Where did you get these?” you ask, turning his large fingers over in your own hands in contemplation.

A small smile unknowingly crossed your face at the realization that the gloves gave the illusion that Raphael’s hands were in a perpetual state of the “Spock” sign.

Gentle rustling of your hair drawing you out of your curious stupor, you look up with a “Hmm?” in response. Only to realize that there was a distinct shortage in space between your face and the man hovering over you.

Your lashes flutter slightly as you take in the face suspended inches above yours. His mask was crinkled around the edges of his eyes and bore several small nicks and tears. The hood of his sweatshirt casting his face in shadow seemed to frame a little bubble that only drew your face closer to his.

The small scales around his eyes were a lot larger than Michelangelo’s. Darker too. Where the smaller turtle’s scales were lighter and smaller in the area, His were dark and more plate-like. Up close it gave him a far softer, almost tired appearance as opposed to the more brooding and intimidating look from far away. However, being this close also allowed you to see the myriad of nicks and scars that ran across his cheeks. 

Your eyes flickered back to his.

Words were lost as you stared into each other’s eyes.

Raphael’s hand, that was not held by yours, came up to rest against your cheek. The rough feeling of leather against your skin sends a slight shiver down your spine. His amber eyes didn’t abandon yours for a moment.

Perplexed, you searched his face to gain some kind of answer for his actions. His thumb slowly drug itself across your cheek, tugging gently at the skin it caressed.

One of your hands let go of his, and sluggishly brought it up to wrap around his wrist.

“Raph?” You stammer, “Wha-what’s up?”

A solemn grin seemed to cross the large turtle’s face.

“You are so beautiful, ya know that?”

Your eyes widen as his words fill your ears and your face started to feel scorching hot. The tenderness of his eyes was reflected in how gently he held your face.

It made your stomach flip.

The corner of his mouth twitching snapped you out of the spell he seemed to cast upon you. In a panic, you slam your eyes closed and force out a huff at the realization he was trying not to laugh at you.

“Quit it, Red!” You let go of his hands and look anywhere that’s not in front of you. “I get it, it's funny when my face gets all red. You don't have to rub it in.”

You push yourself away and cross your arms over your chest in embarrassment.

Shooting a glare after a moment only confirmed your statement. You wished you could burn a hole through the smug smirk on raph’s face as he took a step back himself.

The large turtle put his hands up defensively, “What can I say? Red’s a good color on ya.”

Wishing you could roll your eyes into the back of your skull, you turn from the Terrapin to grab your bag and put your shoes on.

What the hell was that?! Your mind races as you slip your shoes on. Who does he think he is making you all flustered like that? If you were a cartoon character your sure steam would have been coming out of your ears.

The bag was sitting on the kitchen counter, and as you padded over it you heard a chuckle behind you. Scanning the counter in front of you yielded few projectiles at your disposal.

A spoon, a dish rag, your bag, and a coaster didn’t make very good materials.

You snatch the rag off the counter and ball it up before whipping around and hurling it in retaliation.

Raphael snatched the rag out of the air with minimal effort, chucking it right back at you and smacking you in the face.

Right… Ninja reflexes...

“Alright! Alright I get it!” You laugh as you snatch the towel off your head and try to fix your hair. “I'm ready to go when you are.”

He nodded and opened your front door with an ‘after you’ gesture of his hand. You arched a brow in question.

Did he really want to leave out the front of your apartment together? It would be a bit risky considering that his disguise wouldn’t really work if anyone looked too closely.

As if he could read your thoughts Raph settled, “I know what I’m doin’, Toots. Let a fella take ya out on the town fer once.”

You rolled your eyes but made your way out the door. “If you say ‘M’lady’ I’m gonna throw up.”

He followed after you, closing the door behind you and going to lock it. Wait when did he get your keys?

“Did you take my keys?” You ask rummaging through your back to find that your own keys were still in your possession.

Raph turned to you confused, “Donnie made copies of your apartment keys tha first time ya came over. We all have one in case a’ emergencies.” Tucking his key back into his pocket, “I thought ya knew?”

You pinched the bridge of your nose in frustration. So, for over three years, all of them had essentially unrestricted access to your living space.

“No,” you grumble, “I did not in fact know that.”

You were going to have to have a serious conversation with Donatello later. You would have happily given copies to them yourself if they asked. Do they have a copy of April and Casey’s keys too?

“Wait so why do you guys always come through my window?”

Raph just gave you a shrug in response and started walking towards the stairwell next to you.

“Less likely we get seen tha’ way.” He started, “Ya think tha’ wearin’ all these layers is comfy for us?”

That was a good point. As you made your way down the stairs and out of your apartment building the two of you talked about the logistics of being a turtle wearing clothes.

“-I mean I get that.” You rebuke, “all I’m saying is that if you worry about being cold New York is probably not somewhere you wanna stay. Lord only knows how many jackets I have, and you can't borrow any.”

Raph laughs at the thought of putting on one of your comparably small coats.

“Nah.” He tilted his head to look up at the overcast sky. “I don’t think I could leave this city if I tried. Can barely sleep without tha sound of tha subway runnin’ over my head.”

The smile on his face as you walked warmed your heart. For all of the trials and tribulations New York put its people through, it certainly created a culture all its own.

He continued after a moment, “-sides. If we weren’t here, none of us woulda’ ever met ya… So it all works out, even if it gets cold as shit here.”  
A content smile graced your face at his words.

It had been a couple months since the two of you had just hung out and talked. No matter how innocuous the conversation, Raphael always had a unique look on the world you loved hearing. The way he talked about this city, his brothers, whatever new motorcycle trend was popular, anything really… Warmed your heart with his passion.

As the both of you continued down the street a neon sign reading “Joe’s Bar&Grill” signaled your arrival at the restaurant. 

Going to pull out your phone to look up a menu, you’re stopped by Raph’s large hand over yours.

“Don’ worry about it, Babydoll. I ordered ahead.” He tilted his chin towards the door. “Should be ready by now, just go in an’ say ya got a pickup.”

You nodded in response and headed inside where you were greeted by the hostess.

“U-uh I’ve got a pickup order?” You curse slightly at your nerves.

Why was ordering food so hard?!

“Oh yes!” The woman responded in a bubbly voice. “Do you have a name for the order so I can confirm?”

Shit.. Shit shit did raph put it under your name or his?!

“Uhhm.. It would be under Raphael?” God damn it please tell me he put it under his name!

She taps or her tablet for a moment and smiles at you. “Yup! You’re all set, pre-paid and all! Just give me a moment to grab your food for you!” 

With an almost bouncy step you watched as she disappeared behind the double kitchen doors and reappeared a moment later with a comically large bag in tow.

“Here you guys go! Thanks for stopping by and have a nice evening!” Her smile was contagious as you took the bag from her.

“Thank you, and you too!” You called as you exited back onto the streets.

Raph was waiting in the same spot you left him.

“Jesus Red!” You chastise him, “Did you have to get so much fucking food?! This bag is as big as I am!”

The red-clad turtle laughed and approached to take the food from your hands.

“Don’ ya ‘jesus’ me!” He retorted, “It’s a new place! I wanted ta get a lil bit a everythin’ just in case we wanted ta order from here again!”

Your jaw dropped at the implication. “Did you buy everything on the menu?!”

Raphael scoffed and turned to walk back in the direction of your apartment.

“Don’ be ridiculous! I bought half.” The smug smile on his face made you question if that was even true.

“-sides, They ‘ave a whole drink menu we barely even touched.”

You rolled your eyes in mock annoyance. In reality you were actually quite excited at the idea of the feast ahead.

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence as you walked. Eyes falling to the concrete under your feet. It had been too long since you had just relaxed with a friend.

‘But he is your boyfriend, and this is a date.’ your brain reminded you.

A flush heated your cheeks at the intrusive thought. 

No, No! The two of you weren't really dating, it was just pretend for now.

‘For Now?!’ How long was “now” supposed to be?? A month right? Would Raph’s plan work within a month? Was that too long?

“-oo, ground control ta Space Ace, do ya read me?” Baritone rumbles and a light shove snapped you from your thoughts.

“Huh?! Yes-Hai-what’s-how can I help you?” You clamor for words as you try to ground yourself.

The two of you were standing in front of your apartment building and Raphael was staring at you expecting a response.

“Sorry I was lost in thought-”

“I could tell.” He chuckled. “I was askin’ if we was gonna wait out here all night.”

You pivot to enter your apartment building mocking, ‘wE gOnNa WaIt HeRe AlL nIgHt’ under your breath as you hold the door open for the turtle.

“What was that, Toots?”

“Nothing, Smartass. Now get your ass upstairs I’m starving.”

It was indeed quite the haul of goodies spread out on your coffee table.

Two small pizzas with various toppings, sliders, pot-stickers, Bread rolls, Fries both regular and parmesan, a dozen or so bbq wings, a burger (sliced), and a club sandwich (also sliced) left barely any room for your drinks.

Raph had also ordered three different cocktails for the two of you to share: one was a play on a strawberry daiquiri, another a blended margarita, and the last something fruity that looked like it would dye your mouth blue. All of them came in to-go cups and luckily didn’t spill on the walk back.

You were currently grabbing a couple plates from your cabinet as well as straws for the drinks. Your larger companion was seated on the couch scrolling through the TV for a good movie to put on.

Settling on a random Adam Sandler movie, he pressed play as you exited the kitchen. Rather than walking around the couch you simply stepped over the back and flopped directly onto your designated cushion.

It was your couch damn it, you could do what you want.

Seemingly unfazed, Raphael took a plate from your outstretched hand for himself and began to load it with food.

You placed your own empty plate in your lap for a moment and picked up one of the Styrofoam cups.

Popping off the lid to the drink, you drop a metal straw into the slush with a satisfied grin. Giving it a slight stir before taking a sip.

“Mmmmmm” humming contently as the fruity flavors and alcohol mix on your tongue.

“That good huh?” Raph quips beside you.

“Mmm-hmm” You hum again affirmatively and pass the drink over. “You gotta try it.”

You can't suppress the giggle that rises at the sight of the large turtle wrapping his lips around the comparatively small straw.

Raphael’s eyebrows raise and he lets out a small grunt, putting the drink on the table in from you.

“Tha’s a lot sweeter than I thought it’d be.” He smiled and shot you a wink before continuing with a drawl, “not as sweet as yerself a course”

Rolling your eyes you give him a light shove and respond. “Oh shut up. You keep flirting with me like that and people are gonna think that we’re dating.”

The both of you let out a chuckle as you begin to load up your plate and snuggle into the couch.

The movie on the screen flickered with scene after scene of Adam Sandler doing his Adam Sandler thing. Interrupted regularly, of course, by commentary and bantering between you two.

It was comfortable. You smile as you think again about how the two of you should do this more often.

You had shifted into a lounging position mirroring your larger counterpart. Backs leaning against the arm rests of the couch and your legs intertwined over the cushions in between. Raph had one arm resting over the back of the couch and the other cradling his plate as it rested on his stomach.

His eyes caught yours for a moment and he cleared his throat in response.

“Listen, Dollface.” His baritone voice rumbled softly. “I know neither one of us really wants ta ruin tha moment here but I think we gotta talk.”

Perking up a bit at his words, you reached for the remote and turned the volume on the television down.

“We need to iron out our plans right?” You rest your cheek in your hand, letting your elbow support you with the arm rest.

“Yeah.” He began. “I just wanted ta kinda work out a timeline ya know? Was thinkin’ about it an i don know if a month is long enough for this whole thing ta work.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion. “Whadda you mean?”

The large turtle cleared his throat and picked up a roll off the table.

“Well most relationships ‘ave a honeymoon period right?” He peeled off a chunk of bread and tossed it into his mouth as you nodded.

“So, I don think it’d look very convincing if we broke up after just a month ya know?”

You hum in response and pause.

He did have a point. It would be hard to show that the two of you were incompatible if you had only just begun to get closer, but what would a realistic timeline look like?

None of your serious relationships had ever lasted more than 6 months, but you probably wouldn’t need to pretend that long.

Reading your expression Raph continued, “I'm not sayin’ we need ta be togetha’ for a year or nothin’! But two or three months should do tha trick.” He finished by tossing another chunk of the roll in his mouth.”

“Well you said we were going to ‘break up’ a couple times right?” You curled your fingers in quotation as you remembered his words from a week prior. “How are we going to stage a fight bad enough for it to be believable more than once? I can barely keep a straight face when you roast me.”

Raph shrugged his shoulders. “The way I see it Princess we got a couple options.”

He held up one of his fingers, “We pretend ta get annoyed at shit we wouldn’ otherwise and really play up our reactions. Ya know, call me a dumbass an I’ll just”-Puffing out his chest as if he was about to square up- “Wha’ did ya say ta me?!”

You fell into a fit of giggles at the fake anger on his face.

“Oh come on Red! You expect anyone to believe we’re actually fighting?” You ask, jostling him with one of your legs.

“Well,” He chuckled, shoving you in return. “The second part is tha botha’ us start complainin’ about eachotha’ ta everyone else. We’ll get real dramatic ova’ like, a week at tha end of tha month. Then, we get back togetha’ tha next day and go back ta bein’ starstruck.”

Tossing the last of his roll into his mouth, he brushed the crumbs off on his chest.

“So we do that twice in two months, and then have a final fight to close everything off?” You say to confirm his implication.

Raphael nodded and winked. “Bingo.”

You smile and only half joking ask, “Alright so what’s off the table?”

Raph shrugged once more and his amber eyes met yours. 

“In all honesty Sugar, I don’ really have anythin’ tha’ I wouldn’ let ya do or say.” His tone seemed more serious than before as he continued. “How far ya wanna take this is totally up ta ya. If I play along an ya think I went too far I want ya ta tell me, ‘kay?”

You nod and think for a moment before responding.

“Well let’s just not bring up anything that's too personal okay? I wouldn’t want to actually start a fight.” After a moment you add, “Maybe a little less physical PDA you know? Don’t want to make it any more awkward around your brothers.”

“Fair enough.” He grunts, shifting slightly. “But, ya know we’re still gonna have ta make it believable.”

You scoff. “You doubt my acting skills so easily?” Crossing your arms over your chest you quip, “Need I remind you of how many times I’ve convinced your father to let you and Mikey off the hook after being caught out with me?”

He held his hands up defensively and smirked.

“Hey, ya got me there.” As he brought his hands down they came to rest on both of your feet.

“Wha’ I meant was-” 

In a flash his large hands had wrapped around your ankles and pulled. Dragging you directly into his lap and causing your upper half to fly back and hit the cushions where you once sat.

“-how far are ya willin’ ta go ta make it believable, Babydoll?”

His voice came out in a low growl as he loomed over you. Smirking at the flush that was overtaking your face and neck.

You felt your cheeks grow even hotter as you realized your position was making you straddle his wide hips.

Speechless, you only became more and more flustered as you tried to come up with a rebuttal to wipe the smug look off of his face.

“What are you some kind of Voyeur?!” You finally snap at him in embarrassment and push against his chest as he hovered above.

He chuckled and sat up as you brought your hands to your face and scrambled off of him.

“I think I would rather pass away then to have one of your brothers see us like that!” You laugh awkwardly and attempt to rub the blush from your cheeks.

“Oh I don’ knoooooow!” Raphael jeered and tried to get even closer to your writhing form. “Seems like ya enjoyed it!”

In an instant his fingers were tickling you, causing you to squirm even more as you attempt to escape.

Between laughs and cries of anguish you manage to let out an “Uncle!”

He stopped only for a moment before the both of you locked eyes and burst out laughing. 

Mikey and Raph always had a way to bring up the mood.

You could do this now that it was a bit more clear what "this" was. If pretend dating someone meant spending more evenings with the red-clad turtle beside you, you didn't mind one bit.

You'd be lying if you said you weren't a little excited for the drama of it all too.

The two of you spent the rest of the evening finishing off your drinks and food before crashing on the couch together in the early hours of the day.


	11. Leave Me Black and Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who would have though things would backfire so spectacularly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *TW* verbal and slight physical abuse/physical altercation. Reminder that this is an Explicit Fic and so the themes and scenarios are gonna get a bit dicey as the drama unfolds. 
> 
> That being said >:3 lets get Angsty.

Raphael's methods seemed vague at first but you had to admit they were working their intended purpose. 

It had been four weeks since you and the second eldest had enacted your plan. It wasn’t bad the whole time. In fact you and him were having more fun with it than you probably should have.

The both of you had made it known that Wednesdays and Saturdays were your designated date nights. Sometimes you would spend it with the other brothers in the lair and others you would go out and tear up the town.

You and Raph had ended up spending a lot more time together than you thought you would because of it. He had started to open up a bit more to you about his interests and you would spend time helping him on his motorcycle. You, in turn, would open up to him much like you had with Mikey.

That’s why the past week had been a literal hell.

Both of you had agreed earlier in the week that in the coming days you’d have the first big breakup of your plan. However, that meant that the both of you were emotionally drained from making up fake arguments for days on end. Leading to a sort of blurring of lines between the artificial and real fights.

In order to show Mikey you weren't meant to be, he had been invited to third wheel on many of your more recent “dates.” Often having him ending up mediating fake arguments. He plastered on a fake smile and declared how happy he was to help the two of you work it out.

All the while, you were becoming more and more aware of how manipulative it was to pretend to be in a relationship with the red clad terrapin. It was starting to get to you.

Although it made you sick to be dishonest like this, you could tell that it was starting to get too much for everyone.

Offhand remarks taken more personally than they should have. Backhanded compliments turned into insults. Him storming off. You leaving in a huff. Arguing just loud enough that the others could hear.

Everyone had been on edge the past couple of days.

Leo had stopped you more than once to let you know he was there if out needed help working through things. Even going as far as stepping in to mediate as well, bless his heart.

Splinter had confided in Raph that he thought the two of you should spend less time together even before you started fighting.

Of course Raph didn't bring this up until day 4 of your fighting, which caused a genuine fight in itself.

Granted, keeping things civil was a lot more difficult than you thought. You never wanted to insult Raph’s intelligence or his looks, so you mostly commented on his attitude and stubbornness.

After the first couple days, the fights seemed to come easier and easier, while getting more and more draining.

Being mean was hard.

So here you find yourself again, engaged in a fake argument in the kitchen. Pretending to be quiet while making sure you were within earshot of Mikey and probably poor Donatello.  
Leonardo had left hours ago to drop off his father at the Yamamura’s house, and go on a short patrol of the surrounding area.

It had started like most of your other scripted fights had: an off handed remark of something one of you was doing taken personally. Not that you could really remember what started the fights at this point.

“I don't exactly have the stamina to keep up with the logical leaps you're making, Hun.” You groan placing the pizza box of post workout leftovers in the fridge. 

Raphael scoffs, "Well, if ya really wanted ta work on stamina, ya would work a little longer workin’ out instead a complainin’."

You place a hand over your chest in feign offence.

"Oh well gee, I'm so sorry I don't spend every hour of the day complaining about my siblings instead of spending time with my girlfriend." You say rolling your eyes.

"Ya wound me, Spitfire." He growls. "Maybe if ya worked out wit’ me a bit more that’d get rid of yer cut-throat attitude an ya could learn some discipline like tha rest of us! But no, there’s always an excuse wit’ ya huh?!"

"Oh no!” You whine mockingly, “I can do with my time as I please, or do you need a babysitter instead of a girlfriend?" You walk around the kitchen island so it's separating the two of you.

Waving your hand dismissively and snapping at him, "Go find some 20 cent whore to fawn over your big muscles instead! At least I dont trade quality time for Something so superficial." 

"Don't flatter yourself Doll, You’re a dime that’s for sure! But we both know that you're just flakey ‘cause you can't handle committin’ to anythin’ that’s good for ya." He counters angrily.

Okay, ouch. That one made you flinch a bit. What the hell dude? His tone made that last comment far more personal than his other quips.

Your hands flex into fists for a moment and you glare at him.

If he wanted to play dirty you could play too.

"Well then what the hell am I doing with a stubborn ass like you? The only thing you’re committed to is your muscles! I don't know why I thought you could commit to anything other than a new protein powder!"

There. Now you’re even.

Raph scoffs sharply and crosses his arms over his plastron. This posture shifted and that ferocious temper seemed to come out full force: changing the tone and energy in the room to a hostility you were not used to.

Leaning over the island counter he sneered, "I don' know?! Maybe it's cause ya just needed a rebound ta get over tha Beast! Getcha someone completely opposite ta start over on! Yer so obsessed ta gettin’ everythin’ perfect for yerself, it’s no wonder ya cant take accountability when ya fuck up somebody else in tha process!” He waved his hand back and forth gesturing to you.

“With how much of a pain ya are in my tail, I don' blame her for finding another woman ta fuck."

He snarled the last part with such contempt and loathing you’d think that you had been the cheater yourself. 

Whipping your head up to face him, tears threatened to spill over the brim of your eyes.

You didn't know if he meant what he said or if he was just trying to hurt you. It didn’t matter though. 

You were done with people who were supposed to love you, hurting you.

Raph’s whole demeanor dropped in surprised shock as he finally realized what he had said. Starting to round the kitchen island he reached out to you apologetically.

Almost frantically.

You hold up your hand to stop him before he can apologize.

"Too far man.." you hiss just low enough for him to hear. 

‘Fuck It. I'm 'breaking up’ now.’ You think bitterly.

Bracing your will as you see him shoot a panicked glance behind you.

‘Time to take a chance’ you think.

It could either be Donnie or Mikey coming in to see what all the fuss was about. Either way, they were going to bear witness to this "relationship" end.

You take a deep breath as your fists raise from your side. Raphael's face seems to shift into one of sheer pleading with you as his eyes flash once more between you and the person observing your argument.

"How.. DARE You Raphael!" You screeched feeling the tears flow freely from your eyes as your hands slam down on the counter in front of you

"You don't know anything about me or abou-!" you hiccup, "About what she did to me! About what that relationship was like or about the shit she put me through!"

Your whole body was shaking with rage, but at this point it'd be harder to stop yourself than to continue.

"D-doll ya know I didn' mean-" he quickly made the rest of the way around the island towards you.

"No!" You snapped backing away from his outstretched hands, as if he would burn you. 

You try to ignore the genuine hurt on his face at your flinch and wrap this up as clean as possible.

"It's over! I'm done with all of this and I’m leaving!" You announced.

And you were.

It had been exhausting pretending to be in a relationship, arguing every day for the past week. You couldn’t do this even one time more.

You can't bring yourself to say such cruel and hurtful things again.

Especially towards someone you care for.

This was a stupid idea to begin with. You were just destroying any relationship you had with Raphael. There was no reason or justification for it, and now you both went too far and got too personal.

You turn to leave, and by proxy, discover which brother that had to bear unfortunate witness to this train wreck.

Except it wasn’t Mikey or Donnie standing there.

It was Casey Jones in the doorway. A very pissed off Casey Jones.

Your eyes snap to the ground in front of you, and you start to march past him towards the exit.

Only to have your arm roughly snagged and be yanked backwards.

"Hol' up! What in the fuck is going on here?! What’s this about The Beast?!" Casey bellowed looking between you and Raph.

"Casey let go!" You holler as his firm grip on your arm repelled you from running.

The hockey player looked at Raphael questioningly. You don't know how long he had watched your fight, but you didn't want to stay and explain.

Sparing a panicked glance back at the red turtle made your heart break.

He looked so... Lost? No- He almost seemed heartbroken. 

As if you had genuinely broken up with him. Was this all real for him?

Your heart ached and you had to ask yourself: Was it real for you too?

This was never supposed to happen. The two of you were so dumb, how could this have ever worked?

"Red-Spitfire,” He turned to look between the two of you respectively. “What in the hell is going on here?!"

"Casey, please!" You begged pushing against his chest trying to escape the hold he had on your arm. "Please, I don't wanna talk about Her-it! Fuckin-" Cursing softly at your slip up.

Casey looked at you for a moment and his brow furrowed as he seemed to piece together the puzzle. 

Incorrectly.

"What?!” Casey barked, seizing your other hand that was trying to push him away.

“Are you goin’ back to that cheating Bitch?! Why would you do somethin’ as dumb as that when you've got the best guy in New York on your arm already!?"

His friend’s words and your yelp at being grabbed seemed to jolt Raph out of his daze.

"Casey let her go!" Raph barked and started storming over to where the two of you were standing.

"You're not gonna stop her?!" Casey snapped back and the grip on your arm tightened painfully.

"Ya don' know what yer talking about, dickhead. Ya got it all twisted!" The large turtle shouted and shoved the punk’s shoulder in an attempt to get him to back off.

In reality, it just caused you to be yanked back with Casey and ensuring your arms would be bruised from his grip. The barrage of Raph's voice only served to make your ears ring and startle you even more.

It was too much. The yelling. The insults. The physical proximity. Tears burned as they finally spilled down your flushed and frustrated cheeks.

Was Casey going to hurt you? Was Raph going to hurt Casey?

Panic overtook you as you finally freed an arm from Casey’s clutches, just to be restrained once more.

“Then what the fuck i-”

"Let go OF ME!!" You wailed as loud as you could.

The volume of your scream startled them both enough for Casey to loosen his grip.

You broke out of his grasp and flung yourself out of reach of both men.

If no one had heard your argument, they certainly heard your scream. Although, you couldn’t register much over the sound of your own heart beat.

Not waiting around any longer, you rush towards the entrance of the lair. Barely able to grab your bag in your haste.

A panicked Leonardo suddenly rounded the corner of the tunnels and stood between you and your escape. His arms reached forward in concern at your expression as you stormed towards him.

He called your name confused, but you dodged his advance and shoved past him into the tunnels.

“Wha-?” The eldest whipped his head back and forth between his brother and your retreating form in bewilderment. He had heard your scream as he was returning and rushed into something that was clearly way over his head.

Leo bounced on his toes anxiously torn between who to confront for an explanation. His eyes met Raphael’s dejected ones. In an instant he gathered that he was walking in on the tail-end of a really bad fight.

He waited for just a moment longer to confirm his brother’s inaction.

A distressed “fuck” left his lips before wrenching around and racing after you.

You ran until you found the back side of the maintenance area that connected to the main subway terminal.

Tears still poured down your face, and you collapsed onto the concrete floor. Scraping your knees as an unfortunate result. 

Wrapping your arms around your shaking form, you let a sob wrack through your whole body.

What just happened? Why would Raphael say something so villainous to you? Where did Casey come from and why was he so mad about you and Raph? Did he really think that you would go back to someone like your ex? 

If every planned break up was going to be this tumultuous you would gladly tell Raph to go fuck off.

Your fake relationship with him was only supposed to get more rocky from here. It wasn’t ever real in the first place, so you refuse to even try to keep this going. That was the end. It's over. You’re tapping out.

Your forearms throbbed and you hiccupped at the thought of the bruises that rested under your shirt. Shuffling over to one of the brick walls, you collapsed against it and brought your knees to your chest. Burying your face to hide the second wave of tears.

The soft tapping of feet against concrete caught your attention as it approached, but you refused to look up. You didn’t care who it was, they could fuck off too.

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph what in the ever-loving Fuck was that?” A soft voice huffed and came to a halt in front of you.

Your hiccups were the only thing to answer Leo as he squatted down.

After a moment you looked up at the blue-clad ninja through your bleary eyes.

He moved to sit crisscross and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees

“Hey princess…” Leo crooned with a soft smile. His brow was furrowed in concern as he looked down at you.

You grimaced at his pitiful expression, but launched yourself into his chest crying even harder than before.

The turtle's arms wrapped around you with a heavy but firm grip. A three fingered hand rubbed circles into your back as you wept and quiet affirmations of comfort filled your ears.

What felt like hours passed and time seemed to still as Leonardo helped you calm down and ground yourself.

A shaky exhale left you and you brought your hands up to wipe your face. With a groan, you slowly push your way out of Leo’s embrace.

“Feel better?” He prodded.

You forced out a small chuckle, “yeah, much better.... Thanks, Blue.” You looked down and pulled at the hem of your shirt absently.

Trying not to get swallowed by your feelings again.

Leonardo brought his hand up and brushed a lock of hair from your forehead. Leaning down to press a soft kiss in its place.

It was comforting. You smiled a bit as he stood up, taking your hands with him so you could pull yourself up.

‘He really is a good brother,’ you thought, and let him help you to your feet.

Dropping one of your hands he glanced over to the door of the maintenance room and back to you in question.

You shrugged in a dejected response.

“Tell you what,” He started, slowly pulling you back towards the service tunnels. “You don't have to say anything, but I'll take you the long way home so you can think.”

You nodded and let him lead you through the maze of underground New York.

While thinking was the last thing you wanted to do, you knew that you could speak to Leo in confidence. He would lecture you for the plan you and raph had, but he wouldn’t say anything you hadn’t already told yourself.

“Leo?” You croaked. Getting a small ‘hmm’ in response you continued, “When you got caught with Camilla, did you feel like it was wrong?”

Your pace slowed to a leisurely stroll as the eldest turtle brought a hand to rub the back of his neck. If the lighting was better you’d put money on fact he was blushing.

“Well, we were teens so there was a lot of embarrassment in general.” His eyes flickered over to you as he led you down another turn. “But uh, It never felt wrong per-se…”

You hum in acknowledgement. You had been genuinely curious about the whole ordeal, but the memory brought up a unique question.

Was it even possible for a human and a mutant to be together, or were all of you trying to force something that should never be?

Leo huffed, “I know it was weird kissing someone who might as well have been a cousin, so I don't wanna hear it okay?”

“No, no I wasn’t judging you!” You let out a laugh at his defensiveness. Pausing for a moment, you explain, “I-I was just thinking about me and Raph you know?”

You zoned out for a moment, gazing into the darkness of the endless tunnels. Reminiscing about all the times you’ve needed saving from the very depths the turtles grew up in.

You really were from two different worlds.

“You know as well as I do how important trust is to Raph.” You begin. “Him and Mikey are more sensitive than they let on. You aren’t gonna see that side of Raph unless he REALLY TRUSTS you. If you ever see it at all.”

Your eyes flicker to Leo to see him nod in agreement.

“Because of his anger issues, like you, I've learned to be able to read him like a book and act accordingly. He’s mad? Punch this. Still mad? Let’s go beat up some baddies. Still mad after all that? Here’s a drink, hit the punching bag, let’s talk it out.” You laugh and nudge the turtle beside you lightly chastising, “At least I learned when to criticize him and when to let it go.”

“That's not what you've been doing for the past week and a half.” He shoots back with an arched brow.

You gulped nervously and looked away. Leo’s not dumb. He knows something bigger is going on between you and his brothers. However, you’d rather not get into details that would get anyone in trouble.

Clearing your throat you get back to your ramblings.

“That said, Being his friend is all about support, you know? You got his back and he has yours. No matter what, It’s 50/50. Even when he’s wrong, you gotta back him up. Believe me, he appreciates it when I call him out later. It's just hard for him to see clearly in the moment...”

“You’re preaching to the choir.” Leo chuckles in return.

You smile to yourself, remembering an exchange you had with the hot headed man not that long ago. 

“Yeah like, I told him, ‘Raph, you know I got your back man, just want you to know this is a shit idea and you’re gonna get us killed.’ And he told me to ‘Shut up’. Which you know, is code for, ‘Thanks dude, ill keep that in mind’.”

You chuckle, “It’s a ride or die friendship.”

After a long pause Leo stated, “But you’re not just friends, you guys are in a relationship.”

That's right. You grimace. You are- in practice- a romantic couple. No matter how much you try, you can't argue away the ethics and theoreticals surrounding your situation.

When it came down to it: You had lived a month of your lives in a dedicated relationship together.

It left a bittersweet taste in your mouth. You had begun to have a lot of fun getting even closer to Raphael, and allow yourself to enjoy the intimacy that came along with it. Excusing any real moments of growth you might have had with each other under the veil of everything being pretend.

You sigh and your shoulders slumped in defeat.

“It’s not just pretend. Is it?” You bemoan and rub your sore eyes.

“I don't follow.” Leo stopped and turned to face you.

“It’s been real for him this whole time, and I’ve just been along for the ride.” Your voice was hoarse with emotion. “I was so focused on the end goal that I never thought to question if he was holding up his end of the deal. He’s told me that he cared for me, but now we’ve hurt each other and there’s no way to go back how things were.”

Leo looked at you patiently waiting for further explanation.

You didn’t want to spill on the whole plan but there was a truth that needed to be shared. You were just as responsible as Raph for letting things go as far as they have. So it’s up to you and him to set things right.

“Something he said really bothered me.” You tried not to cry as you remember the burn and the venom of his words. “He said that I can’t take accountability for when I fuck people up. I fail at commitment, and that I’m just a pain in his tail… I think he just added the part where he blamed me for what Rebecca did to hurt me. But I think he’s jus-”

“He did what now?” The Turtle cut you off sharply.

“-I think he was being honest. I think that He’s hurting and he doesn't want to admit it. I can't keep pretending like I haven’t made decisions for my own personal agenda that have contributed to his pain. Not like I owe him or anything but- I do care about him, an-”

Leo cut off your rambling one more by clapping his hands down on your shoulders.

“Hold on, back up.” He deadpanned, “Raph blamed you for getting cheated on?”

“No! He just Said that-”

“just to hurt you.” Leo finished your sentence and you swore you saw a vein in his forehead pop.

You held your hands up defensively responding, “N-Well yes, but we were fighting and at some point I guess I hit a nerve and he said some things he didn’t mean bu-”

“No.” Leo cut you off again. “There is no excuse for saying or treating you like that. It is absolutely unacceptable behaviour and it will not happen again under our roof.” he took his hands off your shoulders and they balled into fists at his side. 

“If he does stoop so low again and he wont listen to you, promise me you’ll tell one of us.”

His eyes were cold and serious. You shivered nervously.

“Okay Leo.” You conceded. “I promise.”

“Good.” His tone was short and you knew that you had essentially reserved Raphael an hour long ass whooping when Leo got home.

Still, it was hard to pretend he didn’t deserve it.

“You're home.” The eldest turtle stated bluntly and lifted the manhole cover in the alley next to your apartment building.

“Thank you Boy blue.” You called solemnly as you and the terrapin bid each other good night.

The inside of your apartment door was probably the best crying spot you could have hoped for.

With how many times you had run away from your problems and cried on the floor here there should be a memorial plaque.

You laughed bitterly through your tears and tried to reconcile your fate.

Pulling out your phone you stared at the message screen, building courage.

“No more putting this shit off” You mumble to yourself, “We talk this out like adults.”

RedDead

You: I think we need to meet up and talk about some things.

….. Read at 4:53 am.


	12. Eye of the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a shorter intermission chapter with some bitter sweet memories.

The time on your phone read ‘10:45 pm’ as you entered the Lair.

“Yo!” You called only to be greeted by silence.

You looked around briefly as you made your way to Michelangelo’s room to drop off your bag and take off your shoes like normal.

Putting on the fuzzy socks you left here for when it got cold, you made note of how clean Mikey’s room was.

Strange… He usually only cleaned his room if he was in trouble.

As you make you way out of the bedroom you peek into the rooms of all of the brothers. Realising that all of them were spotless.

That only meant one thing.

The boys were in the Hashi again.

You shook your head and made your way to the open room that functioned as both the kitchen and living area.

It was still fairly ‘lived in’ if that’s what you would call it. The trash needed to be taken out, comic books layed strewn about, old empty pizza boxes lay on the counters and dishes dotted the room.

Welp. Knowing Splinter, he wouldn’t make them stop until their home was spotless, and if you had to guess they were probably across the lair being forced to organize and reorganize to his liking. 

You might as well help out and clean up the place a little yourself.

Scrunching your sleeves up and heading to the kitchen, you began by bagging up all the garbage and putting the dishes in the sink to soak. You got into a groove of spraying down and sweeping as you went.

The sound of the Tv being turned on in the living room broke your concentration.

You looked over to see Master Splinter sitting on one of the loveseats and watching his stories.

With a small hum you turn and flick on their electric kettle to warm up some water for the old rat. You reached into the cupboards and pulled out a mug and some tea biscuits .

Whatever the brothers had done this time, maybe you could smooth things over with some tea and persuasion.

You continued to clean and pick up as you made your way steadily from the kitchen area towards the living room. Not that there was really a defined border between the two. Taking note that the Telenovela playing was getting a bit more spicy as it revealed an infidelity between the main character and their spouse.

The scandal! The drama!

You poured the tea into a little cup and put a hand full of biscuits on a freshly cleaned plate. Then made your way over to place them on the side table beside the old man.

A small chuckle left you as he was too enraptured by the screen to say thanks. Watching him take the tea from the table and blow on it without breaking eye contact.

You weren’t naive enough to think that he didn’t know you were there. He was a master after all. But it was heartwarming to see the old man let his guard down and enjoy some television.  
‘It’s a hard job raising four boys on your own.’ You reflect as you continue to pick up.

The kitchen was practically done and all that was left was to straighten up the living room.

You pick up and straighten some of the magazines and comics that were strewn about. Even discovering an old takeout box you had missed hiding under a chair.

“Thank you, my child. It is very kind of you to help my sons, although it is not your place.” Master Splinter’s old voice warbled as you tied off a second trash bag.

“It’s not a problem, Sensei. I really don’t mind.” smiling sweetly you added, “Besides, it’s the least I can do. Not like you haven’t helped me out in the past.” You chuckled as you replaced the bag in the trash can.

You picked up the two full bags and made it over to the entryway. One of the boys had “acquired” a large trash bin where they could put their garbage and recycling safely.

Splinter had laughed when you asked if they were worried about rats.

“Still,” He insisted. “Your kindness does not go unnoticed.” 

As you turn you see him lifting up the cup of tea to his lips for a sip.

You smile and amble over to sit in one of the chairs next to the old rat. Grabbing a biscuit for yourself along the way.

“Anything I can do to pay back the kindness you've shown me in the past year.” You say resolutely.

Splinter hums in contemplation before reaching over to take one of your hands in his.

“Your friendship is more than enough, my dear.” He paused to give your hand a soft pat. “Not only do you put a smile on the faces of my sons, but on the face of this old rat as well. There is nothing more precious I could ask from my family.”

Your smile softened as his words melted your heart.

“Hai, Sensei.” You murmur softly in response.

He nodded with a huff, “Good.”

Letting go of your hand he continued sternly, “but because you are my family, I must also reprimand you!”

The whiplash you got from the change in his tone made you nervous.

“Unless you want to join my sons in the Hashi-” Sensei’s eyes gleamed menacingly. “You will refrain from taking my sons above ground without my knowledge!”

A chill ran down your back. It wasn’t a threat. It was a promise, and the last thing you wanted to do was get on Mr. Hamato’s bad side.

“Hai, Sensei!”

Seems like the movie night at your apartment wasn’t disclosed to Splinter like you had previously been told.

You made a mental note to cover for the boys more readily next time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That day was three years ago now. When you felt you had truly been accepted into the unusual family of misfits.

In just your first year of meeting the turtles, you also met and became friends with the acclaimed April O'Neil and her partner Casey Jones, a slew of other mutants across New York, and came closer to danger more times than you could count.

You wouldn’t trade them for anything.

Laying on your bed, now officially four years, a month, and three days since your world turned upside-down. You tried to remember all the good times you had.

Your heart ached as you remember all the sleepless nights you and Michelangelo spent together. 

How many times had you snuck out to the skate park? How many times had you almost got caught spraying graffiti on abandoned buildings in Brooklyn? How many times have you had to outrun Raphael or Leonardo when a prank went wrong?

Bittersweet memories flooded your mind as you wonder when things got so complicated.

When did you realise you were in love with Michelangelo?

Was it the time when he sacrificed himself to the wrath of a sharpie covered Donatello so you could escape? Maybe when you had held him tight while he sobbed into your chest, as if letting go would cause him to shatter.

Perhaps it was the realization that even if you couldn’t take away his pain, you’d spend every chance you could trying.

When had things become so complicated with Raphael? 

You had spent so much time together and grown closer than you had ever been before. Memory after memory reminds you of the shenanigans the three of you would get into.

Pranking Donnie by hiding tiny fake cameras everywhere and framing Leo was definitely the peak of your combined genius. It went on for five weeks.

Over a month ago Raph sacrificed his own attraction to you to help you scheme your way into his brother’s heart. And like a fool you believed and trusted him. You allowed yourself to use him to manipulate Michelangelo and it made you sick to your core.

You needed to make amends to both of them. To promise to do better. To come together and talk about, and work through the mess that had become your friendship.

You looked at your phone messages for what felt like the billionth time. No new messages from red, but…

OrangeFanta

OrangeFanta: Hey dudette. Idk what went down but if U wanna jive im all ears

OrangeFanta: Metaphorically speakin that is

OrangeFanta: I don't like, have ears B)))

A dejected smile crossed your face at Mikey's joke, and you type out a response.

You: We got into a fight and I broke up with him :((

You: He just said some really mean things and after all the fighting we’ve done this week I’m done…

As soon as you turned off your screen it lit up in your hands with his response.

OrangeFanta: Im so sorry Angelcakes!!!!! :’’(((

OrangeFanta: That explains why Leo is grillin Red like a BBQ if it makes u feel better

You: I'd be lying if I said it didnt lol…

OrangeFanta: So what r u gonna do Angel? 

OrangeFanta: U want the Love DoCtor to smooth things over again or do I need to BUSS out some Rocky-road?

After a moment, you put your phone down to think.

What are you gonna do?

You’ve already made your mind up that you and Raphael were going to have a serious discussion and work through what happened. And You sure as hell weren’t going to pretend to be his girlfriend any longer.

However, you didn’t want to tell Mikey about what you and Raph had been doing. He deserved that confession in person, and in all honesty you were afraid of the fact you’d have to do it soon.

You: Right now I just need some time to think…

OrangeFanta: All Cool dudette! You know im here 4 u when u need me <3

You stare at the message for a second longer before tapping on your phone once more.

RedDead

You: I think we need to meet up and talk about some things.  
...Read at 4:53 am.

You: I get if you don’t want to text. Can you meet me on the roof at midnight so we can talk in person?  
...Read at 5:16 pm.

With a sigh you shut off your phone.

Guess you’ll just have to see if he shows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After how intense and long the last chapter was I figured a little breather was necessary. <3 We're not out of the dark yet tho, things only get rougher from here!!  
> >:3 I hope you're ready


	13. Fire and flames

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yo wait on the roof to have a resolution with Raphael, but things may not go as planned. Do they ever for poor Reader? Guess you'll have to read and find out!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TW!!** for Verbal abuse, Physical/emotional abuse, Confrontation, and manipulation. Reminder that this is an Explicit Fic and so the themes and scenarios are gonna get a bit dicey, and this is NOT a good example of functioning healthy relationships. :)

‘11:45 pm’

The cold metal of the air conditioning unit had started to seep through your pants as you sat in wait. Although you hadn’t been waiting long, the churning anxiety in your stomach hadn’t stopped for what felt like days.

You glanced nervously back at your phone screen to check the time.

‘11:46 pm’ the bright screen mocked you.

Telling Raphael to meet you on the roof may or may not have been a good Idea. You wanted to confront him about everything that had happened the night before.

As you sat on the chilly rooftop of your apartment building, you became acutely aware of just how exposed you were.

If he showed up early like you did, there was no way to know if he was there unless He wanted you to. He was a trained ninja after all.

Would you look pathetic waiting for him? Was he watching you already? Are you just paranoid?

Probably that one.

A sigh left your lips and you ran a hand through your hair as you waited.

You had made your mind up earlier that you mainly wanted to steer the conversation in the direction of getting on the same page with the Hot-headed man.

Neither of you could continue to put your feelings and emotions aside. Because Raphael wasn’t over you, you couldn’t pretend to be together anymore. The both of you clearly got closer than you meant to during this whole fiasco.

Your own emotions were unintelligible. You cared deeply for Raphael and were hurt by his words, and that wasn’t going to change even if you had forgiven him already. However, after getting so close to him over the past month, discerning between platonic and romantic feelings was getting harder.

A loud growl left your stomach as it flipped with anxiety.

Michelangelo’s feelings still seemed to be in the same place they were a month before: Devoted to seeing you and his brother happy and thriving while he sits on the sidelines.

Even though he had expressed concern for you after your last fight. You didn’t want to tell him what was really going on until you and Raph had come to an agreement on how to do so. It was the least he deserved.

As well as all three of you needed to have a feelings jam. You groaned internally at the thought of how emotionally exhausted you were going to be after all of this.

The fact still stood. You loved Michelangelo, and had loved him for years now.

However, another darker knowledge sat at the back of your mind.

You had come to love Raphael.

A small tap from behind caught your attention, but as you looked around you saw no sign of the turtle you awaited.

Checking your phone once more, the time ‘11:56’ greeted you.

Well that's better than nothing.

You unlocked your phone and scrolled through social media to pass the remaining time and distract you from your thoughts.

‘00:00’ read your phone, and you sighed.

Hopping off the air unit, and walking to the edge of the roof. You sat with your feet barely dangling over the wide concrete ledge.

Waiting for a moment before slumping your shoulders and calling out. “If you’re there Red, I’m not mad. I just wanna talk.”

Silence greeted you as you closed your eyes and leaned back.

He would join you when he was ready...

You took in the sound of the city: police sirens howled in the distance, cars honking in traffic a couple blocks away, the chatter of passers by on their way home or bar hopping.

A cool breeze caressed your face as you waited.

Suddenly a large warm hand placed itself on top of yours.

You kept your eyes closed and breathed a small sigh of relief.

“Do ya remember when I took ya ta my spot for tha first time?” The rich baritone voice beside you asked softly.

You hummed in response as the memory flooded your mind.

It would have been two or so years ago now, when Raphael had taken you to his own secret hideout. How could you forget?

The first floor and roof of an abandoned office building, where both him and Casey would go out and bring about his own brand of vigilante justice. They had outfitted it with several police radios and scanners, and turned the roof into a private respite from their responsibilities.

“Back when you were still the Nightwatcher? Kicking criminal ass, and brooding menacingly.” You quip glancing over to him.

“Yeah, back then…” His calloused thumb ran softly over the back of your hand. 

Raph had a nostalgic look in his eyes. ‘The Nightwatcher’ was still active when you had met the red-clad terrapin all those years ago. Raphael had confided in you that night, how he would go out night after night to release all of the pent up anger he had at the end of each day. For months all he did was sleep and fight petty crime that was usually overlooked by police.

You’d gotten to see him in his leather and metal suit more than once, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t make you a little hot and bothered. He just looked so… Mysterious?

The armor clung to him in all the right places and his cocky attitude didn’t help. He was dripping with a bad boy attitude and sex appeal that made your knees weak.

Raph’s cocky attitude wasn’t unwarranted, that’s for sure. He could take on almost anyone in a fight and he had the size and strength to prove it. And he did. Repeatedly.

Local news papers were practically as invested as you were in his exploits. He would laugh and joke about the criticism he received from the press and cops alike. However, there was always an underlying bitterness. Crime would always exist, and he would never be satisfied no matter how many criminals he took down.

You pitied your 19 year old selves. Back then things were simpler. There was less grey. Less moral ambiguity when it came to good guys and bad guys.

After a tense night where a foot clan bust went bad, you had ended up with a battered turtle on your balcony. You scolded him for hours and the two of you went back and forth on whether or not he should continue to fulfill the roles of the Nightwatcher.

It took a while to break down that tough exterior of his. He admitted that he needed the outlet as a crutch, and you promised to help him make better coping mechanisms.

By the time he had retired, he was a lot better at venting his frustrations in a healthy way and you had gotten a plethora of new stories out of him.

Casey had moved on as well, having moved in with April and the both of them taking on more serious jobs. Less time to be out there “crackin’ skulls” as they put it.

Their old hideout was demolished only a couple months after that.

Still, that didn’t mean that you and April didn’t have to patch them up every once and a while.

“Why do you ask?” Finally opening your eyes but continuing to stare out over the city.

He was silent for a moment before starting with a shrug, “Reminds me a when we had those beers an talked.”

You pondered for a moment. The both of you had definitely had more than one night of drinking and taking, especially after you guys had turned 21.

You glanced at his face and realized when he meant.

Before his old base was demolished you, April, Casey and Him had thrown a farewell party. Just the four of you having drinks and reminiscing over the adventures had in the old building.

April and Casey had headed home early much to Raph’s chagrin. So the two of you spent the entire night on the roof: talking, drinking, and swapping stories.

You had done such with Mikey on many occasions before, but those nights usually involved more video games, philosophical existentialism, and snacks.

You talked about letting go, and what was going to come after this chapter of his life was officially closed. Both of you went into details of your own struggles with the concept. Opening up to him about issues of your own, and he offered advice. 

The two of you talked into the dawn. He walked you to your apartment, and you parted ways that night feeling a little closer to one another.

You only hoped reconciling tonight would go as well.

After a deep breath and a couple moments of silence you decide to not prolong the inevitable.

“We need to figure out how we can fix this and move on.” You began. “I know that both our roles in this mess probably hurt you a lot.”

“Nothin’ ya did hurt me.” He growled, turning his back to the city.

“I don't believe that,” you retort, turning around as well. “I know that you didn’t mean what you said, and that you only said it to hurt me, but… You were just as hurt by our fight as I was.”

Raphael scoffs and his body stiffens. 

“Ya don' know shit about me...” His dark voice croaked solemnly.

You rolled your eyes at his words. God, could he be any more standoffish?

‘Right,’ you think, ‘Nobody knows anything about you. You’re a lone wolf, going out on your own the first chance you get.’

“How long have we known each other, Red?” You inquire somewhat rhetorically.

“What does that matta’?” He snorts and turns away from you frustratingly.

“Answer the question.” you huff, not meaning to sound so short with him.

“Fuckin- I don’ know, four years er somethin’?” He grumbled with a stiff shrug.

“And in four years you don’t think I’ve gotten to know you well enough to tell when you’re lying?” you tilt your head to the side in question. Trying to catch his eyes.

You were standing by your convictions. You knew Raphael, and you knew just by looking at him that he didn’t want to admit how close you had gotten. He was going to clam up, but you weren’t going to let him.

You needed to talk about this.

“We both should have known that this would go up in flames, but it’s a little too late for that now.” You reach out and put your hand over his like he had before.

Looking at the roof under your feet you continue. “Feelings are complicated, and I need to know where you stand so that we can find a compromise.”

Raphael simply let out a short breath in response and snatched his hand from under yours.

Okay, rude?

“Raph, we need to talk about this.” Your brows furrow as your frustration builds. “We can’t just keep pretending to be in a relationship. You know as well as I do that it’s toxic. We need to take responsibility and tell Mikey the truth.”

A bitter laugh forced its way out of his throat and his head whipped to look at you indignantly. “Ya really wanna tell Mike?”

You shake your head, dumbfounded. “Uh, yeah? Don’t you?”

Raph scoffed and shook his head, rolling his eyes bewilderment, but didn’t answer you.

“Look, I'm trying to have an adult conversation with you! We’re not 19 any more, and we shouldn’t be acting like teenagers about this.” You groan. “Everyone knows that we broke up, and that’s fine by me! Our little experiment is over, but Mikey deserves the truth. No more secrets.”

“If ya break up wit’ me now Mikey will neva’ believe any a this was legit!” He stood and turned, pointing a finger at your chest.

Your eyebrows furrow and you throw your hand up in exasperation. “None of it was ever ‘legit’ Raph! All of this was for Mikey and I, and it was Fucked from the second we agreed to it!”

“Oh, everythin’ was so terrible wasn’t it?” He retorted sourly.

“This was YOUR plan in the first place!” You point a finger at him and then yourself. “And I’ll be the first to admit that I fucked up when I agreed to it, and that it was a mistake for me to think that your feelings wouldn’t get in the way.”

Raph crossed his hands over his chest and leaned forward with a sneer. “Well sorry I neva’ expected ta muddy up yer plans with my Feelings!”

“UGGGHHH,” you growl, rubbing your eyes in frustration. “I hate that we’re doing this to each other! It feels like we’ve been fighting so long it makes me pissed off to even be around you!” 

“Oh so what you hate me now huh?!” Raph snapped, shifting his weight onto one foot. “After i put my neck on the line to help you score with my little brother an-”

“No, I don't hate you!” You cut him off.

You start to pace around the roof. The both of you locked into a circling similar to when you spar.

“And this was never about ‘Scoring’ anything with Mikey!” You shout indignantly. “You told me I could trust you and that if things went sour that you’d take full responsibility.” Opening your arms in a shrugging motion as your words seemed to get more curt.

“Well, I’m waiting!” You looked around theatrically as the turtle in front of you sputtered in offense.

“I never agreed to be in a real relationship with you, and I don't think I ever could be now that I know you would so easily lie about your intentions!” You shout, pointing angrily at him again.

You didn't mean for your words to come out as harshly as they did, but you meant what you said.

Raph threw his hands out to the side as he bellowed, “I didn’t lie ta ya about Jack SHIT!”

You rolled your eyes and felt your forehead twitch in response.

“Yes, you DID!” You wail as you step forward.

Emotion threatens to break your voice as you persevere. “You weren’t supposed to actually fall in love with me! The whole point was so we could show Mikey we WEREN'T meant for each other! You told me I could trust you, and you want to keep going after all this shit?!”

Raph takes a step closer, snarling down at you. “What’s so WRONG wit’ that, HUH?! How is it my fault that I fell in love with ya, an I don’ wanna lose that?!”

You sneer up at him as his amber eyes bore into you. “You’re a selfish, arrogant, loud mouthed prick who puts himself first without thinking of the consequences!” 

As you glared into his eyes, you saw something snap behind them. The energy around him shifted, and his hulking form seemed to drown yours in comparison.

“Oh so I don't think of the consequences?” His voice dropped to such a low octive it gave you goosebumps.

His hands balled into fists and he began screaming at a thunderous volume. “How ‘bout ya goin behind everyone's backs ta try an get yer perfect little fairytale endin’ huh?! Ya don' care ‘bout my feelings! Ya don' care ‘bout Mike’s feelings! An ya certainly don' care who gets swept up an hurt in yer little warpath ta get what ya want!”

You try to back away as the turtle quickly and angrily advances forward. Holding your hands up defensively in front of you, only to have the swatted back down by Raph in his rage.

“Well Newsflash, Princess!” He roars. “Rom-com endin’s don' exist in tha real world, so stop lookin’ for one! We don’ need ya or yer LOVE in our lives! All yer doin is playin’ tha botha’ us for suckers while you get ta enjoy ya sick, twisted, fantasy! Anybody would kill for what we got.”

A twisted cackle left his lips, piercing you as he continued. “Hell, I would'a killed for what we got, but NO! Ya just gotta have MORE!”

You felt yourself boil with rage as tears threatened to spill down your cheeks.

“Again, what is it that ‘we got’ Huh raphael?!” You bark and shove his chest to make room between the two of you. “Cause, from where I’m standing it looks like a load of Fuck All!”

His face comes impossibly close to yours as he sneers, “Yeah, I’m sure it looks like a ‘fuck-all’ from yer point a’view, Cunt.”

You fume in shock at his implication. “You pig!”

“Actually, I'm a turtle.” He stops leaning over you and stands at his full height to gare down at you. “I don’ care if I love ya... Yer no good for me, or Mikey, or anyone in this family, so scram. We’re done here. I don’ want ta eva’ see yer face again.”

You reached forward and grabbed one of the straps that ran across his chest. “You can't just get rid of me like-”

“You wanna watch me?” He growled snatching your arm.

As he squared his shoulders to you he towered larger and more domineering than you'd ever seen him before. 

“I can do whatever-the-fuck-I want.” He spat, venom dripping from his words.

“And I-” He gripped your arm harshly and flung it away from him- “Said-” Snatching the front of your shirt he pulled you to his eye level ignoring your protests- “SCRAM!”- and hurled you away from him onto the hard concrete at his feet. 

He looked at you savagely. 

Threatening. 

A promise of violence emanated from every inch of his form should you make the wrong move.

And yet you persisted. 

Sitting up on your elbows you state defiantly.

“You don't mean that.”

A flash of motion was all the warning you got. Bringing your hands up in a feeble attempt to cover our face as his fist slammed into the ground next to your cowering form.

A resounding bang rang off the surrounding buildings.

It cracked. 

The concrete next to you cracked from the force of his punch.

Tears flowed freely from your eyes as you trembled in dismay. 

Why would he-He’s never-That could have been you.

Your eyes move fearfully from the fist beside you to the cold face pinning you to the ground.

“Stay tha fuck away from me an my brothers.” The threatening rumble of his voice sent shivers down your spine

You didn’t wait to see if you would get a second chance, and tripped over yourself scrambling to get out from under him and run.

As fast as your feet could carry you, ignoring the scrapes on your hands and knees, you ran. Ran inside your complex. Tripping as you ran down the stairs. Ran down your hall. Ran inside your apartment.

You locked the door behind you, going around and locking all the windows and pulling all of the blinds and curtains closed. Shaking and sobbing as your eyes cast back to the door and you remember that he had a key.

You tremble as you grab a chair and prop it against the door. Just in case...

For the first time, you were actually scared-no. Terrified of the Mutant in the shadows.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you like, Leave a Kuddos and Ill try to get the next chapter out ASAP! <3


End file.
